Joke.......

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A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here."
 
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A limerick:

There was a young lady from Kew,
Who said as the Curate withdrew,
"The Vicar is slicker and quicker and thicker,
And two inches longer than you."
 
A limerick:

There was a young lady from Kew,
Who said as the Curate withdrew,
"The Vicar is slicker and quicker and thicker,
And two inches longer than you."

As I sat with the duchess for tea
She asked."do you fart when you pee?
I said..No, Not a bit..Do you belch when you s**t?
I thought that was one-up for me! :)

There was a young vicar from Dee
who went back of parish to pee
He said "pax vobiscum!..
why doesn't the pi** come?
I must have the C.L.A.P :)

When A girl got married in chester
Her mother she kissed her and blessed her
She said "youre in luck!
He's a rattling good F***,
I had him myself once, In Leicester!! :)

There was a young girl from Dee
went down to the river to pee
a man in a punt put his hand on her c***
GOD!...I wish that were me! :)

There was a young man from brighton
who said to his bird "youv'e a tight-un!
She said "pon my soul
your'e in the wrong hole!
There's plenty of room in the right-un! :)

There was a young man from Bengal
who had a mathmatical ball
three times its weight
plus his Pr**k (Minus eight)
equalled twice the square root of F*** all! :)

There was a young man from Nantucket
whose tool was so long he could suck it
He said with a grin
while wiping his chin
If my EAR was a C*** I could F*** it! :)
 
there was a young man from Bude
who fingered his bird while they Queue'd
A guy up the front
said "I'm sure I smell C***
Out loud...just like that!.. F'in rude :)

When the bermondsey bricklayers struck
Bill bloggins was avin a ***k
by union rules
he had to 'down tools'
now wasn't that bleedin hard luck :)
 
There was a young man from calcutta
who always slept in the gutter
the rays of the sun
burnt the hairs on his bum
and turned his balls to butter :)

There was a young man from devizes
brought up at the local assizes
for teaching young boys
matrimonial joys
and awarding french letters as prizes :)

There was a young man from Devizes
who had two balls different sizes
although one was small
it was no good at all
but the other one won many prizes :)

There was a young woman from cape
who got screwed by a barbarian ape
get off! you old fool
youv'e got a square tool
and your'e knocking my ***t out of shape :)

There was a young woman from ealing
who had this peculiar feeling
she lay on her back
and opened her tw*t
then pee'd all over the ceiling :)

There was a young vicar from mimms
who talked about women and things
but his favourite desire
was a boy in the choir
with a bum like a jelly on springs :)
 
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