Unique Shower modification

Hi all,
I am an IT manager who has recently been given a very significant promotion, and am now UK head of a global IT team.
I would like to add a modification to my power-shower that will enable me to not only output water, but with also allow me to select an alternative liquid from a separate source. Initially I plan to use vintage champagne but the system must be suitable for all non-volatile liquids, for example liquidised caviar or oysters.
Does anyone know of such a system available on the market or any company that would be able to design and install such a system?
Lastly, will this modification enhance my property's value?
many thanks in advance.

I don't believe you. All the rest of us keep quiet about our prosperity when talking to those less fortunate than ourselves.

This has gotta be a wind up

Shh....itmanager with regard to the work in your bathroom, start with the toilet and BOG OFF!

Try B&Q oyster sauce with anchivy paste is neat

itmanager

I can design and fit that for you..

If you forward 20k to cover the design costs i will get right on it mate..

Total price may be in the region of 50k..

itmanager said:

Hi all,

I would like to add a modification to my power-shower that will enable me to not only output water, but with also allow me to select an alternative liquid from a separate source. Initially I plan to use vintage champagne but the system must be suitable for all non-volatile liquids, for example liquidised caviar or oysters.

Lastly, will this modification enhance my property's value?
many thanks in advance.

Click to expand...

It should be possible to fit a simple diverter to your powered system that will provide switchability between water and, say, chateau rothschild 67. however it would not be advisable to 'power' the bubbly through the system as the pressure caused by the cavitation within the champagne will be likely to cause a back pressure, resulting in serious reverse flow of champagne into the local water supply. Currently building regs prohibit any plumbing installation doing this - Apart from the obvious, but fabulously decadent wastage of so much well procured fizz this approach would also make the physical storage of enough CR67 impossible - even a shaken pressure feed (known in the trade as a 'grand prix') will require approximately 7 nebuccadnezzars of CR67 for a shower lasting 15 minutes - with backflow pressure this could be reduced to as little as 10 seconds shower play.

I would suggest a different approach.

first equip yourself with four or five short eastern european child slaves, teach them the phrase "time for some bubbly" and secrete them with as many large bottles as possible under the jacuzi (and if applicable behind the waterproof plasma screen). upon command they should emerge shaking the de-wired bottles vigourosly. this option has the added benefit of allowing your true creative potential to shine out through your choice of outfits for the little dwarfs.

It would be wise to wear goggles during the initial stages of the switch to champagne, but with a bit of imagination these could lend an exciting 'biggles' moment, or sense of adventure to the proceedings.

The tricky oyster/caviar flow problems can be solved in a similar way - simply have a bank of waste disposal units installed in the ceiling above the shower unit. on command the hoarde of grateful chinese labourers that you have lodged in the roof space will begin tossing the appropriate foodstuffs into the waste disposal units. you will find that oysters supplied in this way with their shells still on has a delightfull depilliatory and somewhat abrasive effect. you (and your guests) will emerge with glowing skin.
and for the promise of food it might be possible to get the champagne operatives to lick you free of the fishy slime when you are nearly done - exquisite.

As for the price of your property?
what a common thing to ask.

............. ........ " itmanager".............BOB`s found the spellcheck

sounds like itman needs the services of the AA.....not the car people.

rapid promition === brown tounge syndrome

shame you have to pay income tax,we do but not a lot.

I should imagine a shower fed with mulched fish eggs shell fish would almost certainly have a direct effect on your house value yes.

If you live in a high rise apartment then jump off. (Preferably into a small tin of caviar of course)

If you're in IT you know the form:

We do nothing until you issue a Requirements Spec
Then we prepare a Functional Spec , for a fee, and submit that to you.

You won't understand it, but you sign it anyway in the hope of something being done someday, because your boss is already breathing down your neck.

We design and make it, and then realise it won't quite do what you had in mind. So we write a Test Spec, and get you to sign that. It will have been written to avoid the annoying little bits we couldn't quite manage to make work.

We point out that time has elapsed while waiting for you to sign of the documents, so we want a stage payment. 75%.

You're getting smelly for lack of a shower now and the project's already late, so you pay up, knowing that we overquoted by 150% in the first place so would be happy to drop it. (You found that out from the disgruntled contractor who has now left our company. (Pity, he was the only one who understood it)).

We turn it on and nothing comes out except a farting noise which measures 62dB at 1 metre.
You complain that it isn't a shower.
We point out that the 62dB at 1 metre is something you signed off in the Test Spec so want more money from you.
You decline to pay so no further work is done. Coincidentally our company has gone into receivership and the directors are staying at a health farm on the Kamchatka peninsula. Sorry, no phones there.

No problem, Sir.

Are you Michelle Duberry who won 'The Apprentice' earlier this weeK? I would be glad to come and run my hands over your pipework if that is the case...

Did you hear about the MD, the Chief Engineer, and the IT manager who were involved in a spectacular car crash when the brakes on the pool car failed and they plunged off the road, down a ravine, and eventually came to rest upside down at the edge of a sheer cliff-face?
By some miracle no-one was seriously injured. After declaring their obvious relief at this the MD declared that this was not acceptable to have such important strategic employees involved in such an incident and they should never travel together again. Furthermore he would review their choice of pool cars to improve safety features.

The Chief Eng suggested a recovery of the vehicle so the brakes could be stripped, analysed, and redesigned to eliminate any faults to ISO standard EN29001 and prevent recurrance.

The IT manager suggested they push the car back up to the top of the hill, get in, and see if the brakes failed a second time....


As for the caviar pumping, get a pneumatic supply installed and then use a diaphragm pump to really spray it at you.