It's official. After weeks of anti-goverment riots in the capital, Parliament has been dissolved, Cameron and Clegg have fled and London is, to all intents and purposes part of the Arab League. There are fears that Birmingham and Bradford might follow.
The BBC, operating from its new headquarters in Salford, remains the only reliable source of information during this constitutional crisis. "It's long been recognized that London is a city apart from the rest of the UK," a spokesperson said last night. "It was always possible that they would someday break away."
A new government is now in place. They've promised to crack down hard on corruption in the financial sector and to rid the streets of drugs and prostitution. They've also warned that anybody caught in possession of an offensive weapon with intent to endanger life could face summary execution.
Meanwhile, there are unconfirmed reports that David Cameron intends to re-establish a legitimate government in Salford. No member of the original cabinet was available for comment but UKIP leader Nigel Farage had this to say:
"Why am I not surprised! This has been on the cards for years. Thanks to our open door immigration policies, London is virtually a foreign country."
He urged Londoners not to be wooed by promises of cheap petrol and pointed out that draconian new taxes, already in the pipeline, would put the price of a pint out of reach of all but a priviledged few.
"Mark my words," he added. "Sharia law will be next."
Nick Griffin was even more outspoken:
"This is nothing short of invasion by stealth. They won't get away with it. We'll fight them in the suburbs. We'll fight them on the M25. We'll blockade the Thames estuary and starve the *******s out. We'll ask for help from NATO if we have to."
It's uncertain at this time whether British armed forces will accept orders from the new government or remain loyal to the Queen. The situation is critical and civil war is a real possibility.
Sound familiar?
The BBC, operating from its new headquarters in Salford, remains the only reliable source of information during this constitutional crisis. "It's long been recognized that London is a city apart from the rest of the UK," a spokesperson said last night. "It was always possible that they would someday break away."
A new government is now in place. They've promised to crack down hard on corruption in the financial sector and to rid the streets of drugs and prostitution. They've also warned that anybody caught in possession of an offensive weapon with intent to endanger life could face summary execution.
Meanwhile, there are unconfirmed reports that David Cameron intends to re-establish a legitimate government in Salford. No member of the original cabinet was available for comment but UKIP leader Nigel Farage had this to say:
"Why am I not surprised! This has been on the cards for years. Thanks to our open door immigration policies, London is virtually a foreign country."
He urged Londoners not to be wooed by promises of cheap petrol and pointed out that draconian new taxes, already in the pipeline, would put the price of a pint out of reach of all but a priviledged few.
"Mark my words," he added. "Sharia law will be next."
Nick Griffin was even more outspoken:
"This is nothing short of invasion by stealth. They won't get away with it. We'll fight them in the suburbs. We'll fight them on the M25. We'll blockade the Thames estuary and starve the *******s out. We'll ask for help from NATO if we have to."
It's uncertain at this time whether British armed forces will accept orders from the new government or remain loyal to the Queen. The situation is critical and civil war is a real possibility.
Sound familiar?
