Banned from the co-op

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Johnmelad502

Yesterday I was at my local CO-OP buying a large bag of Purina dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time, but that I'd lost 2 stones before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.

(I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's arse and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

I'm now banned from the Co-op.

Better watch what you ask retired people.

They have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say.


Regards,
John
 
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great post geraint.... one where you say nothing !!! ;)

oh i'm joking... nothing personal old fellow !! ;) ;)
 
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since you are retired.. just get on the bus....

and as to the rest... how sad...
 
great post geraint.... one where you say nothing !!! ;)

oh i'm joking... nothing personal old fellow !! ;) ;)

bandwaggon.... or very sad.. must live in someones skirt... your replies were far too quick...

would not say clever... as they were not....
 
great post geraint.... one where you say nothing !!! ;)

oh i'm joking... nothing personal old fellow !! ;) ;)

He must be a mod, he deleted his post :?:

Jeez!!! i think you must be right !!!! :eek: Geraint ? a mod? i'm off!!!! :LOL: :LOL:

He often has a lot to say, shame it is mostly gibberish.

funny how you insult and then tell everyone on the forum that it is going downhill with all the insulting posts...
 
Gezza, i think it's time we all acted like grown ups and maybe called a truce? If we ... calmly.. and like adults, all agreed..... that you are an idiot, we can all go off in our own directions??

No? not feeling it? well what if you go and stand in the corner, and shut your eyes, and start counting, and we'll shout 'ready' when you can come and find us?????

;)
 
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