When children don't come first

diy_fun_uk · 30 Mar 2021

Yet another case of a woman putting her own needs before those of her children. It's not uncommon to see cases like this reported i.e. where the biological mother shacks up with a less than desirable boyfriend who then proceeds to illtreat the children. I can only conclude the 'mother' turns a blind eye in these cases, putting her own needs and desires (I'm keeping it polite) before her children.

Boyfriend, 37, jailed for making his lover's young children beg for meals and bathe in ice cubes | Daily Mail Online

Scarlet Pimpernel · 30 Mar 2021

diy_fun_uk said:
Yet another case of a woman putting her own needs before those of her children. It's not uncommon to see cases like this reported i.e. where the biological mother shacks up with a less than desirable boyfriend who then proceeds to illtreat the children. I can only conclude the 'mother' turns a blind eye in these cases, putting her own needs and desires (I'm keeping it polite) before her children.

Boyfriend, 37, jailed for making his lover's young children beg for meals and bathe in ice cubes | Daily Mail Online

It's a bit difficult how you see fit to blame the Mother:

'You caused them to sleep on the bathroom floor and if their mother wanted to cover them with a towel you visited retribution on her.
from your link.

transam · 30 Mar 2021

Execute the piece of rubbish imo

charliegolf · 30 Mar 2021

transam said:
Execute the piece of rubbish imo

I believe you meant to say that for such a crime, only God can give forgiveness. And that society should swiftly arrange the interview!

diy_fun_uk · 30 Mar 2021

Bobby Dazzler said:
It's a bit difficult how you see fit to blame the Mother:

'You caused them to sleep on the bathroom floor and if their mother wanted to cover them with a towel you visited retribution on her.
from your link.

This person wasn't the biological father, so the mother hadn't been with him since they were born. She introduced them into that situation. Once it became clear her new boyfriend evidently had issues with her children, she should have been out of there at the first safe opportunity.

As I say, putting certain needs of her own before those of her children.

Mottie · 30 Mar 2021

Evil, evil ****.

transam · 30 Mar 2021

charliegolf said:
I believe you meant to say that for such a crime, only God can give forgiveness. And that society should swiftly arrange the interview!

yes I will go with that solution

Notch7 · 30 Mar 2021

diy_fun_uk said:
As I say, putting certain needs of her own before those of her children.

Probably easier said than done.
He is probably controlling and manipulative.

She probably wasn't strong enough to break out of it....these people often have a disfunctional extended family and have no support network that would help her to do so.

algas · 30 Mar 2021

When I met my now wife she had a 2 yr old Daughter her husband was a violent piece of sh1t , we moved in together, I treated the girl as my own giving her love and support, we have since had a Daughter of our own, I love both equally, they have both done extremely well and are great friends as well as family, I'm now 67 and the adopted Daughter lives locally and is just great, I'm so proud of her, we always tell people that we chose each other, I cant see how a mother could put up with a sh1t head against her children, I know mine wouldn't have.

Notch7 · 30 Mar 2021

algas said:
When I met my now wife she had a 2 yr old Daughter her husband was a violent piece of sh1t , we moved in together, I treated the girl as my own giving her love and support, we have since had a Daughter of our own, I love both equally, they have both done extremely well and are great friends as well as family, I'm now 67 and the adopted Daughter lives locally and is just great, I'm so proud of her, we always tell people that we chose each other, I cant see how a mother could put up with a sh1t head against her children, I know mine wouldn't have.

Sadly not all are quality men like you.

The emotional damage that is inflicted on those suffering domestic violence is appalling, many end up with PTSD and or depression. It is very hard to break away from, women may lose everything leaving: house, belongings, friends, job, family....everything.

conny · 30 Mar 2021

And sadly a lot of them stay because of the fear of losing everything.
It's a shame they can't be convinced that, if they escape from the life they are in, they have the chance of regaining those things they are scared of losing. Whereas staying were they are they are never going to feel safe or secure no matter how long or hard they try to do the right thing by the perpetrator.

securespark · 30 Mar 2021

transam said:
Execute the piece of rubbish imo

There are some in jail who would take great exception to any mistreatment of children.

diy_fun_uk · 30 Mar 2021

Notch7 said:
Probably easier said than done.
He is probably controlling and manipulative.

She probably wasn't strong enough to break out of it....these people often have a disfunctional extended family and have no support network that would help her to do so.

I get there are often reasons why people don't leave partners, it's rarely as straightforward as walking out. And whether it's a man or woman, many of these people are weak and incapable of living on their own i.e. they fall into the bracket of people that need to be with someone, often anyone, rather than being alone.

However, I still maintain once it clicked with her that this piece of **** was abusing her kids, she should have got out when safe to do so. And, although people don't like to hear it, it's often simply the case they are prioritising their owns needs above those of their children.

noseall · 31 Mar 2021

Bobby Dazzler said:
It's a bit difficult how you see fit to blame the Mother

The mother of my children would have not put our sprogs in harms way. Rather, she would have found the nearest crow bar and beat the bloke to death with it, rather than let harm come to our sprogs.

I sincerely hope that the karma that befalls him is of the most sinister, painful and horrific kind.

Notch7 · 31 Mar 2021

diy_fun_uk said:
And, although people don't like to hear it, it's often simply the case they are prioritising their owns needs above those of their children

These situations are never as easy as that, the partner is often also a victim.

Men that are abusing children are most certainly also controlling to the partner.

Sure there are some feckless women that don't care but they are a tiny minority.

What is sad is in this country is that there is a section of society that live disfunctional chaotic lives. I lived a few doors from a woman who had 3 children by 3 different partners and lived with a man that used to be violent - I had to treat a head wound and call the police for her once. She had no support network, her mum disowned her, she had no dad. She was a nice person to talk to. It's sad really.

When children don't come first

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