Who here lives alone ...

securespark said:

Harry ....odd that you eat meat but can't touch it. I'm veggie but prep and cook it all the time for everyone else!

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It's a sort of phobia suppose. I will not touch fish live or dead either. She will not eat kidney or liver, just looking at it raw turns my stomach, but once it's on the plate yum, yum. When she is cooking or prepping anything like that - I keep well out of the kitchen. She is only a so, so cook, nothing special most of the time - though she thinks she is a wonderful cook, but she will not take any advice or feedback. Last Monday, at my suggestion she made me chicken a la creme and it was the best I had ever tasted in my life - absolutely wonderful, but she would not even try it. Instead she was going to give the remainder to the dog, until I begged her to freeze it for a second go at it. The dog is obsessed with her and she with the dog.

She makes cottage pie, but the onions and carrots in the pies end up on the plate almost uncooked. She made beef stroganoff for yesterdays Sunday dinner, but the beef was tough and chewy. She also tried baking bread for the first time yesterday, not great, but OK for a first go. You just dare not try to tell her where she might be going wrong, helpfully, tactfully - because she goes off in a huff, of - make it yourself next time

I do think that despite her age, I get an impression that cookery and a well equipped home is fairly new to her. I know she was living alone in a flat, for years, before getting involved with me, despite having sons and daughters where she originated from.

She came down here after a couple of short visits, as a trial, before we decided she could/should move in, moved in then promptly we were locked down by the covid - with her claiming she was kept captive against her will here for the first year we were together, every time we have a row. Now I just answer it with we are not in lockdown now, if you are that desperate to go back home. It shuts her up instantly She loves her job, loves the dog, loves the area, loves the house - just hates me when she is that way out

Besides, where would she live if she moved back home? She gave up her rented flat, I don't think her offspring would put her up for long.

Keithmac said:

Bringing your own children up really is a life changer for the better. I had a pretty crap upbringing but always told my self I'd do better for my own two.

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I had a pretty good upbringing, in a quite poor by today's standards home, but surrounded by absolutely rock steady relationships. My parents would be astounded by how comfortable and rich a life I live, were they still alive. In life you can chose your friends, but not your relatives and all of my relatives were solid hard working, regular types - though none of them are still alive and none had any offspring. Not so those of my first partner - she was solid though her relatives were quite chaotic and remain so.

Her grandson, whom we raised between us, has had a very chaotic life so far, though much less chaotic than his parents.

Mrs Mottie and I occasionally have the odd row and it’s usually, no, always, my fault. Things like not clearing up after myself and 'taking her for granted' etc. On the other hand, she’s obsessed with cleaning, laundry, ironing etc. Any rows we have over money is normally because she won’t spend it! If I see something I want, I buy it. If she sees something she wants in January, she says to get it for her birthday in July. If she sees something in August, she says get it for her for Christmas. If I want a coat, I’ll go out and buy the coat I want. If she wants a coat, she'll set herself a budget and stick to it. We must be odd in our financial ways as all of our friends, our kids and reading this, most of you on here seem to have separate accounts that you use to put into a main account for household bills or one pays for this, the other for that. Since we have been married in 1984, any regular wages we earn just goes into one joint account and everything we buy comes out of that. When it starts building up in the current account, it goes into savings. We have a joint saving account that surplus funds from the joint account go into as well as my private pension and we both have an ISA and an individual premium bond account but we make sure we have the same amounts in them. If one of us has a run of wins on the bonds, we’ll top up the lagging one to keep them the same. I do have a separate account that I squirrel a bit into now and then but that is solely for Christmas and birthday presents for Mrs Mottie - doesn't seem right buying presents for her out of our joint account. She does the same for me too. I think I’ve been getting on her nerves a bit lately though with lockdown and us both being at home because she’s been working from home on her NHS job but luckily, she's back in the office from today so I can finally catch up on some of those box sets I’ve been saving to favourites. She has said though that when I give up work completely, she's going back full-time to have a break from me! I’m just too much man for her……..

Mottie said:

If I see something I want, I buy it. If she sees something she wants in January, she says to get it for her birthday in July.

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I;m pretty much the same, except I tend to always do my research first on prices, then look for a bargain. I only splash out when I see an obvious bargain, or if a distress purchase. I rarely spend on me personally, usually something for us both. I never bother with birthdays or Christmas presents, rather I see, I buy, I give. I bought her a TV for the back bedroom in May, set it up and said it was her birthday present, but birthday not until August. Then added a HDD to it in July, as an extra present so she could pause and record.

She has her private money, I have mine, but I think she tends to constantly spend - Amazon pulls up outside, every few days with small packages, Amazon is not the cheapest place to buy things.

Harry Bloomfield said:

I had a pretty good upbringing, in a quite poor by today's standards home, but surrounded by absolutely rock steady relationships. My parents would be astounded by how comfortable and rich a life I live, were they still alive. In life you can chose your friends, but not your relatives and all of my relatives were solid hard working, regular types - though none of them are still alive and none had any offspring. Not so those of my first partner - she was solid though her relatives were quite chaotic and remain so.

Her grandson, whom we raised between us, has had a very chaotic life so far, though much less chaotic than his parents.

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My two parents have done their best to drag me down into the gutter mentally wise (and financially at times), my Grandparents brought me up and to this day I still regret not being nicer to them (it was a bit of a mess tbh).

Luckily my wife's parents and my sister-in-law and husband are brilliant with our two, they have had a great "normal" life so far.

My past has taken it's toll on me but I'm just trying to let it all lie for now, the black dog as they call it is a powerful enemy but you have to just get on with it.

In my line of work a mistake could take a life so medication is off the table, rather be miserable at times but precise than the other way round.

And again, we aren't flush with money as a family but my children are happy, warm and fed and that's all that matters in my book.

They've never seen what I have growing up and it's done them the world of good.

transam said:

I do now and have done for a good few years now

got a 71 Norton in the spare room

I have no stats to back it up

but imo blokes living on there own do not fare as well as married men or those in long term stable relationships

health and all that type of thing ???

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Have you got any links to back that up?

I did until I was about 34.. Met Mrs Bod then couldn't shake her... she was like a sticky Omelette....

Got to 43 and thought fúck I've got no Kids...... I just forgot..... now thankfully I have my two beautiful little girls .....

Make the most of it every day; time flies - my little girl is 49.

EFLImpudence said:

Make the most of it every day; time flies - my little girl is 49.

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My eldest girl hits the big 40 soon.

I still object to her wearing makeup.

AngleEyes said:

Do you know many illegal immigrants?

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Who would want to?

My eldest is 42 and youngest is 38 next week.

Regarding cooking. I used to do most of the cooking in my previous marriage because her limit stretched to egg & chips or beans on toast, probably because she only really ate that type of stodge. I used to do a roast every Sunday and various other foodstuffs throughout the week. My current wife lets me cook sometimes but, as she is a brilliant cook, she tends to do the majority and she has also introduced me to new tastes. She also takes the view that if a man goes out to work, even though she works from home running her own business, he should have his meals cooked for him when he comes home. She is also 6 years younger than me.

ReganAndCarter said:

Who would want to?

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Lots of people want to and do. I have two 'mates' who do. One lives in an old school building he bought and he filled it with his obsession - electronics. Extremely scruffy (both place and he), almost no facilities to support a normal life and he lives there like a hermit. Another has a semi, middle class type, very intelligent, but his house is crammed with ex-military radio equipment. He claimed to have had girl-friends, but they walked as soon as they saw the state of the place.

I do envy their freedom, but I would not swap their lives for my own, with or without a partner.

Me, I limit my similar activities to remote parts of the house and it doesn't cause any issues.

conny said:

She is also 6 years younger than me.

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Mine is 9 years younger than me and she is adamant that she is too young for me, when we do have a proper row. She is 65, but dresses and can get away with much younger, but then so can I.

Didn't realise you were that 'mature' Harry.