Poor Old Bloke

A man was walking through the park and he spotted an elderly gentleman sat on a bench, he looked so sad and the man noticed a tear running down the old blokes cheek. Moved by this sad site the man sat down next to the old bloke and asked him what was wrong.

"Nothing" said the old bloke, but the man persisted and asked if there was perhaps some financial worries. "No" said the old bloke "I'm really quite wealthy, my wife passed away about a year ago and I inherited a huge sum from her wealthy family of which she was the last surviving member"

The man then presumed that the old guy was missing his wife "No, in fact I hated the old cow, she was as miserable as sin and twice as ugly, I only stayed with her because of the money"
"But you must get lonely" the man stated.
"Again, no, I have employed two stunning swedish girls as housekeepers and they cater for my every need. I can have sex with either or both of them as my mood takes me and if I am feeling tired they will have sex with each other and let me watch."

"Christ, you lucky bas***d ! " exclaimed the good samaritan, "but why are you sat here crying"

"Well" said the old bloke "I can't remember where I live" another tear escaping down his cheek.

a 80 year old guy walks into a brothel and says i want the best young filly that you have got my good lady,
so she looks him up and down and says dont you think youve had it?
so then he says ok how much do i owe you?

There was a young sailor from Cosham,
Who took out his billokcs to wash 'em,
His wife said,"Now Jack,if you don't put them back,
I'll tread on the batsards and squash 'em."

Roughcaster.

There was a young lady from leeds,
Who swallowed a packet of seeds,
within half an hour her T*Ts were in flower
and her ar*e was covered in weeds