Rapid Weight Loss

[securespark]

Can anyone suggest ways (without the aid of scalpel or chainsaw) to lose 4 stone in three days?

A large sum of money to the one with the most successful suggestion...

 

[jasy]

If you get a good mate to pull all your excess FLAB to the back and then Sellotape it together this should give you the appearance of having firm, tight skin without the pain of working up a sweat. The only problem is that your as* will look about 15 feet long from a side view!!

 

[jtaunton]

crack ?

 

[securespark]

JT...Do you mind?

Yes, it's huge, but I didn't realise you could see it from where you're sitting...

If you can't offer constructive advice on how to reduce it, then pipe down!

 

[DforDave]

Can anyone suggest ways (without the aid of scalpel or chainsaw) to lose 4 stone in three days?

A large sum of money to the one with the most successful suggestion...

Day 1 - take a third of the money out of your wallet and give it to me

Day 2 - take half of the money out of your wallet and give it to me

Day 3 - give me your wallet and all of its contents

Job done !

 

[securespark]

Can anyone suggest ways (without the aid of scalpel or chainsaw) to lose 4 stone in three days?

A large sum of money to the one with the most successful suggestion...

Day 1 - take a third of the money out of your wallet and give it to me

Day 2 - take half of the money out of your wallet and give it to me

Day 3 - give me your wallet and all of its contents

Job done !

Dfor - Now, mate! If I'd said "help me lose pounds...."

 

[chainsaw_masochist]

Can anyone suggest ways (without the aid of scalpel or chainsaw) to lose 4 stone in three days?

A large sum of money to the one with the most successful suggestion...

Well if it was Vanessa Feltz that was making the request I would suggest.... decapitation!

 

[pipme]

Get pet Tapeworm or three (sorry-four) ??

Fit twin exhaust to Skoderia ... use as handles to push it around ... wheelbarrow fashion ! T'would look right ...

 

[masona]

The easiest best diet I've been on is the "Cholesterol Diet" - lose weight & lower your cholestrol level down at the same time I've a easy to read chart lists and mainly use jacket potatoes with difference filling which is high in fibre & low in fat.
Eat it slowly with a pint of water & you will be full up I've lost 2 1/2 stone in 2 month. The first 2 week was the hardest for me.

 

[WoodYouLike]

Can anyone suggest ways (without the aid of scalpel or chainsaw) to lose 4 stone in three days?

A large sum of money to the one with the most successful suggestion...

You can go for 4 - 5 days without food. Drink enough water

 

[pipme]

Get a suicide bombers belt and adjust the cemtex dosage to suite (!)

Donate your contents to medical science - NOW via Industrial liposuction !!

Come on SS .. Wassup then ? A bet gone wrong ? Movie ambitions ? Cannot move the seat back further in the Skod ?
Come clean ! If not reduced ......
It must be the 'whistle' not fitting (probably wedding wear) ... required to fit in 3 days ?

 

[AdamW]

I lost a stone in just over a week by cutting my calory intake to 1200 calories a day, and not eating anything more than 5% in fat. Went from 16st7 down to 15st7.

When you are calory counting so vigilantly it is actually difficult to get up to the 1200 calory barrier!

Exercise helps of course, and you can add what you burn to the 1200.

Dunno about losing 4 stone in 3 days though... I lost 2 stone due to glandular fever over the course of a couple of weeks, and I was a lot skinnier back then anyway... 11 and a half stone down to 9 and a half stone... and 6'2"! I was emaciated after that. So, if you are intent on rapid weight loss why not go around your local students' union licking people's drinking glasses (less likely to get into trouble with J than if you went around snogging random girls!)

 

[paulh53]

Can anyone suggest ways (without the aid of scalpel or chainsaw) to lose 4 stone in three days?

A large sum of money to the one with the most successful suggestion...

How about a large dose of "Gastroenteritis"

 

[securespark]

Excellent suggestions, lads!

Pip. I shall come clean.

I have a fitness assessment and medical on Monday morning as part of an application to be a Paramedic.

Methinks I'm still too much of a bat fastard.....!!

 

[pipme]

Career change? This is not just a case of post natal blues is it ?

Methinks you have a liking for being in accord with the near 'nuff normal functioning of living organisms, a tendency toward the biological processes such as growth and digestion.... as in processing food , industrially and personally ... muddle those two at your peril ....

Just climb on the couch.... relax and tell us all about it ... by the way make the cheque out to pipme U&I-Psychomotors Inc ...