Russian Roulette - aka - The Bolshoi Shuffle

[architect]

My sister, whilst on a recent visit to London, partook of a meal in a Russian restaurant. She was invited to answer several questions and to submit them into a prize draw. Last week she received this letter :-

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Sir or Madams,

We are most delightful to announce that you much worthy winner in our great ‘Joyous Russia’ competition last month. Only you from all people to have corrected answers to questions about splendid Russian cuisine, food and drink! You much clever and study hard about cold meats and turnips to triumph. Yes?

As victorious winner we salute your brain and much pleasure to us in offering you number one best top prize offer!

You win the mechanic marvel of Russian technological engineering greatness. The LADA RIVA. Yes. This no mistake in printing! A new LADA RIVA 1500cc is delivered bang slap to your house door Saturday next at 10.30 morning time.

But this no ordinary LADA RIVA. No boys!

Hey presto! Many extras we fit to make prize super-duper. Look see what additions we putting on :

- Customised orange paint and snazzy vinyl roof top!
- Whitewall tyres just like Yankee speed demon automobiles!
- Wipers windscreen slow AND rapid!
- Extra springs in front and rear-back seating to float your passage!
- LW / MW radio set with four speakers for hi-fi sound and toe-tapping on the move!
- Front AND back mats so carpets not soiled any!
- Brightly fog lights to see way in British vegetable souper!
- Fully spannered tool-kit to propel you on way after breakdowns.

Your neighbours not believing their own oculars when they see much admired and new LADA RIVA delivered to your home house. They plenty jealous – like keeping up with the Stroganov family or what! Photography arranged by us so you end up smile in locality newspapers. People will see your car and laugh. They overjoyed for you big win.! You even be big local famous like Frank Sinatra!

With joys of wishes,

I. Cutomov
Head of External Affairs

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My sister loves all the ‘right’ stuff – you know the kind of thing - all the designer stuff – the clothes, the magazines the gadgets etc.

Question is – What would YOU do next ?

 

[AdamW]

Come on, this has to be big happy wind-up. Yes?

Well, Skoda weяe the stuff of laughter a few yeaяs ago, but many people aяe now much happy buying theiя big snazzy yankee speed-demon caяs.

Peяhaps Lada Яiva is to be Яussian Яolls Яoyce after all like Beluga cavieя, yes?

 

[AdamW]

Bu**er. Those weird codes are meant to be the cyrillic letter "Ya", the back-to-front R. But it doesn't come out right on my PC.

 

[architect]

No matter Adam ... have a Smirnoff on me!

 

[masona]

Bu**er. Those weird codes are meant to be the cyrillic letter "Ya", the back-to-front R. But it doesn't come out right on my PC.

Normally this happen when you've copy & paste from Word

 

[kendor]

My sister, whilst on a recent visit to London, partook of a meal in a Russian restaurant. She was invited to answer several questions and to submit them into a prize draw. Last week she received this letter :-

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Sir or Madams,

We are most delightful to announce that you much worthy winner in our great ‘Joyous Russia’ competition last month. Only you from all people to have corrected answers to questions about splendid Russian cuisine, food and drink! You much clever and study hard about cold meats and turnips to triumph. Yes?

As victorious winner we salute your brain and much pleasure to us in offering you number one best top prize offer!

You win the mechanic marvel of Russian technological engineering greatness. The LADA RIVA. Yes. This no mistake in printing! A new LADA RIVA 1500cc is delivered bang slap to your house door Saturday next at 10.30 morning time.

But this no ordinary LADA RIVA. No boys!

Hey presto! Many extras we fit to make prize super-duper. Look see what additions we putting on :

- Customised orange paint and snazzy vinyl roof top!
- Whitewall tyres just like Yankee speed demon automobiles!
- Wipers windscreen slow AND rapid!
- Extra springs in front and rear-back seating to float your passage!
- LW / MW radio set with four speakers for hi-fi sound and toe-tapping on the move!
- Front AND back mats so carpets not soiled any!
- Brightly fog lights to see way in British vegetable souper!
- Fully spannered tool-kit to propel you on way after breakdowns.

Your neighbours not believing their own oculars when they see much admired and new LADA RIVA delivered to your home house. They plenty jealous – like keeping up with the Stroganov family or what! Photography arranged by us so you end up smile in locality newspapers. People will see your car and laugh. They overjoyed for you big win.! You even be big local famous like Frank Sinatra!

With joys of wishes,

I. Cutomov
Head of External Affairs

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My sister loves all the ‘right’ stuff – you know the kind of thing - all the designer stuff – the clothes, the magazines the gadgets etc.

Question is – What would YOU do next ?

Well i'd send them the £15,000 administration fee they are asking for to process your winnings and sit back and wait for the prize to arrive

 

[oilman]

I wouldn't have pasted the whole of the original post.

 

[securespark]

kendor=sterose, yah?

- Extra springs in front and rear-back seating to float your passage!

Hmm. I'm in two minds about whether floating my passage would be pleasant or not...