George Carlin

[Odds]

I'd like to invent a cockroach spray with a difference: “It doesn’t kill the roaches, but it fills them with self-doubt as to whether or not they’re in the right house.”

 

[Odds]

"Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward."

 

[Odds]

 

[Odds]