Suicide Is Painless

[Brigade77]

I like to take my dogs for a walk early in the morning & we often gets to watch the dawn rise & the world wake up. Not just because I likes my dogs, but also 'cos I can survive on 4-5hrs sleep a night & anything more tends to upset my body clock. Besides, the dogs are accustomed to it & a lie in 'till the crack of midday is just not possible in their world.

Occasionally, we wander across the fields & down to the local lake, a popular walking spot even for those without dogs & in these troubled times it has been an absolute joy to watch the families venture down there for their 'wellie walk' / just to get out of the f#kkin' house.

I only go down there occasionally at this early time 'cos in my time in t'village we've averaged 3 suicides by drowning a year. It really is a nice place to park the car & the lake is a modest 1.5ml walk on a good path. I'm told the car park is also very popular at night to those folk who go "dogging" yet don't actually own a dog ???

I know from past history of footprints in the snow, & even bumping into folk at 4am, that I'm never the first to do a lap of that lake on any given day, yet I'm always very, very wary of any parked cars that I cannot place to an owner at that early hour.

I didn't know him & he didn't live 'round 'ere. Seems he travelled 5mls sometime last night, parked up & went for a swim. Over the course of this day I've learned he was 30'something with a beautiful young wife & a beautiful young daughter, a nice house & a good job that probably didn't translate to well to lockdown.

It's fair upset me. My black Lab 'Mabel' spotted him & made me know she'd spotted him by showing her excitement at wanting to dive in & retrieve him & needed my approval.

I've spent most of the rest of this day visiting & being visited by folk who I don't think fully understand exactly how I feel. Why do I feel guilty that we didn't go for that walk a few hours earlier & maybe had a chat in his car. Why do I now think that lake walk is totally out of bounds . . .

 

[conny]

Can't offer any words of a reason or solution why we feel this way when we discover someone dead, or how long you may feel like this, but we are not the first and certainly won't be the last to have these feelings.
It's just over 8 years ago now when I was called to my neighbours by his wife who came home and found him hanging from the stair banister. I had the unenviable task of cutting him down and trying to resuscitate him with CPR and mouth to mouth. All to no avail and in the process I broke at least 2 of his ribs. Paramedics said that would have been the least of his problems if he had survived but it tore me up for weeks thinking that by breaking those ribs I may have punctured his lungs or pierced his heart. It was only at the inquest it was revealed he knew what he was doing when he positioned the rope around his neck because he did it in a manner which guaranteed instant death.
Still took me many months to come to terms with the fact I wasn't to blame and all my efforts were bound to be to no avail.
You have to gradually accept the fact that fate, or whatever you wish to believe in, decided you were not meant to be there to save him and that it was 'decided' that what he wanted to happen was to come true. You will mentally put the lake out of bounds for some time, maybe even forever, but it won't change things and the lake won't go away.
Although the side the world seen of his life looked 'perfect', we never know what goes on behind closed doors or in the minds of people. Console yourself with the fact that when you did find him you did everything you could at the time. I hope you manage to find peace with yourself before too long and don't bottle it up. If necessary talk to your doctor.

 

[sxturbo]

Wow, how sad,

It's such a shame,


We had a young lad local only 19 with his while life ahead of him hang himself outside the local social club (the club and bar is upstairs and their is a metal beam sticking out the side of the building so they can lift the kegs up)

Some local kids found him as they were on their way to the skate park.

I do wonder how they must be thinking and feeling to put themselves in a position where they think they would be better off not living,

Maybe it's today's society full of misery, every where you turn these days it's just misery every where.

Songs are miserable, news is full of misery, papers are full of misery, everyone is offended by everything, cost of living is getting rediculous, life isn't as social as it once was, remember back in the 90's and earlier, Fridays and Saturdays was literally everyone in the local neighborhood down the local social clubs etc.

Not like that now, everything is closing down, social clubs are seen as for deadbeats only.

Social media has a lot to blame for aswell.

It does appear as if it's no longer acceptable to be happy any more.

I wish there was something that could be said that might make you feel better,

 

[festive]

So so sad to read about this, mental illness depression etc sometimes people even their close ones don't even see it or notice it. A friend of the family not long came home to find his partner already gone in their bedroom, she had hung herself leaving behind a loving doting husband and 4 children. No note nothing. The ripples from this obviously affected many people close to them. And to this day we still don't know why. Depression and mental illness come in many forms, sadly for some its too late for help

 

[Notch7]

My company was doing the final stages of a conservatory build in Tunbridge Wells.

A had a call from the wife to tell me her husband had committed suicide and I had to go around and visit her. It turns out he left for work as normal, drove to a woodland and hung himself.

He was a retired war veteran and it was just at the time when the 2nd Gulf war started. I think it was PTSD.

His grand daughter was born 3 weeks later.

 

[JohnD]

sometimes there are people who know but prefer not to say.

in the cases I've known, it's often been blamed on overwork, stress, money troubles, accidental overdose etc

but I think there's been a personal trouble hidden away. usually marital or extramarital based.

 

[Trazor]

Many years ago I knew a workmate in his late teens, who hung himself.

He lived alone, and did not turn up for work, we had no idea that he had any issues, he seemed a cheery young lad.

Turns out, at the inquest he had suffered abuse as a youngster.

Took me quite a while to come to terms with it all.

 

[teaboyjim]

Some people have suicidal intentions all their lives and there's no apparent reason.

 

[HERTS P&D]

I do believe that there should be a banner on this site with details of who to contact when feelings are getting low.

This site is manly men, and depression affects men more than women. Or even a contant who they can 'chat' to via this site.

Andy

 

[Brigade77]

I do believe that there should be a banner on this site with details of who to contact when feelings are getting low.

This site is manly men, and depression affects men more than women. Or even a contant who they can 'chat' to via this site.

Andy

I'm a financial partner in a vehicle recovery biz with a police contract & in the early days of the business I attended many fatal crashes to recover the vehicles. The fire brigade used to pop into our yard & use the cars due to be crushed for training, it was while chatting to a station commander that I was passed a note with a number on. "You can ring this anytime 24/7".

I didn't fully understand just how powerful it was when it was all bottled up inside me. I'm told by many close to me that they distinctly remember a sudden change in my mood & ringing that number made me realise that you cannot put it to the back of your mind & simply 'bottle it up'. What did it for me was a child seat covered in the most blood you've ever seen, "claret" they call it.

I've spent a few hours today in a kind of daze, it took awhile but I got that number again & I rung it.

That child seat is still in my head . . . .

 

[conny]

Keep believing things will get better in time, because they will.

 

[transam]

My brothers X wife commited suicide

well he was a half brother same father different mother

never really close to him but she divorced him went back to her country of origin Sweden and some years later commited suicide

she did have that Anorexia slimming issue / problem

 

[transam]

Bloke I knew we went to the same social club he hung his self

finacial issues tax man was after him

 

[transam]

Bloke I worked with for 30 odd years his wife’s sisters X husband
Commited suicide

he was due in court for some serious historic criminal offences

 

[transam]

Would I contemplate suicide ?

I would like to think so under certain circumstances

but one needs to consider others

the hurt and auguish it could cause others ?

I would never contemplate it all the time my mother is alive

It would be nasty and cruel

they were speaking about it on the radio some mother talking about her only son / child who took his life
Poor woman over come with grief and mis placed guilt imo