You breake my washing machine!

Goy asked to do a favour for someone earlier tonight, can I look at a washing machine for a lady from The Ukraine.
Hate doing foreigners, (no pun intended), but said I would look. Her brother had installed it this morning but had to cut the moulded plug off to feed the wire up the back of the worktop but when they switched it on it didn't work. Checked the plug and found a 3A fuse in it, he had taken the plug off a table lamp. Replaced with 13A plugged in and turned dial. Working, "Great, I thought, won't bother charging just get on my way." Turned machine off.
Home about 10 mins phone goes, washing machine not working. Strange, its a new machine. She goes on to explain in broken english that its switched on at the wall but when she shuts the door it won't work.
"Any lights on?"
"No.
"Have you tried this, that, the other etc....?"
"Yes."

Goes back round and she starts telling me again then mentions that the round thing, (switch), is pointing at the zero and 2 backward 7's.

"Lets have a look."

Yes you've guessed.

The switch was pointing to the 'OFF' position where I had left it.

She didn't realise she had to turn it to select the correct wash programme.

Breathe in, Breathe out..... and relax. You'll get your reward one day mate.

now send the bill for being bloody stupid.

"My Brodder, he fix parps,yes?"

"Fixes what?"

"Parps, for sinks and lavatories, yes?"
"And he do wash machines also, he good yes?"

If I'd known he was a 'plumber' they'd have got a bill, a bloody big one!

Aaarrgh!

Got sent out to replace a faulty modem at an American air force base once. Went through the usual routine - 'Is it turned on?' 'Any lights on the front of it?' type phone call, then several other calls to arrange a pass for access to the base, etc. etc. before collecting a spare modem and embarking on the 100 mile round trip.

Finally got to the thing, and the yank in charge of the department commented on how strange it was the way the lights on the front of the thing lit up when they turned it off......

Shortly afterwards I ended up instructing a group of American servicemen who had just arrived from the states on the arcane intricacies of a British 13 Amp socket, paying particular attention to the 'unusual' operating procedure of flipping the switch toggle or rocker down to turn the thing on.

At least I got to present them with a bill for my troubles

This is why there should be a Stupid Tax

Went back to a new boiler 3 times because it would no work .House being done up not moved in yet...
Worked perfect every time (thinking got to be a glitch on the board) . As i quiz him that he is using it right he asks why he needs the electric on for it to work as its a GAS boiler. .

its a gas boiler ha ha thats so funny i love stupid people thats the reason i go to work.i got called back to a window fitting job by a very angry woman screaming at me that the crap window id fitted was leeking and there was a large puddle of water on the window cill every morning even when it had nt rained during the night(this woman is actually a consultant at a hostpital but still thick as sh*t).after arriving to the house seeing the puddle and receiving a tongue lashing from her i put my hand in the "water" and smelled it, her dirty moggy had been p*ssing all over every night. even after she was still a cow to me so she got charged for an hours call out which she payed with no fuss, cheers thicko