African in a boat has a Scouser Moment.

[thatbloke]

A man is rowing across a lake in Africa on a Saturday afternoon chanting away as he rows "Bongo.....Bongo.....Bongo", at this time, a flying saucer is shooting past the earth and the aliens spot the man and decide to beam him up to perform some tests.
After the tests are completed they decide to put him back in his boat, "Stop" the leader says, lets see what happens to this human if we remove a quarter of his brain", so the aliens remove a quarter of the guys brain and beam him back down to his boat, "Lets see what happens to him now" the aliens say.
As the aliens watch, the man wakes up in his boat and wonders what has just happened, un-nerved by his experience he continues to row across the lake chanting on his way "Bongo......Bongo......Bongo"
Amazed by this, the aliens beam the man back up to the ship, "How can this happen, he has a quarter of his brain missing, right lets remove half of his brain and see what happens", the aliens remove half of the mans brain leaving him with just a quarter of his brain left and beam him back down to his boat, "This should do something to him" say the aliens.
Once again, the man wakes up in his boat and wonders what has just happened, as before un-nerved by his experience he continues to row across the lake chanting on his way "Bongo......Bongo......Bongo"
This makes the aliens even more confused, "Get him back up here and remove all of his brain" says the alien leader, "This must surely have some effect". So the aliens once again beam the man back up the ship and completely remove his brain leaving him brainless and then put him back in his boat.
And once again the man wakes up in his boat and wonders what has just happened, he cannot recall his experience and continues to row across the lake chanting on his way "Ferry 'cross the Mersey........."

 

[snico]

 

[thatbloke]

Is that your breakfast?

 

[sooey]

There was this other fella who, after having his brain removed, had his skull filled with dogshit "just to see what would happen".
He started posting rubbishy jokes on the internet, talking about aliens and stuff.

That's what happens when you've got "sh*t for brains".

 

[thatbloke]

You didnt like my joke then?

 

[spacecat]

Is it True that TERREEEE From BROOKSIDE IZZA


MMMEEERRRRRRDDDERRREEERR (scouse accent)

 

[thatbloke]

At the end of a tiny deserted bar is a huge scouse bloke - 6ft 5in tall and 350lbs. He's having a few beers when a short, well dressed and obviously gay man walks in and sits beside him.
After 3 or 4 beers, the gay fella finally plucks up the courage to say something to the big Liverpudlian.
Leaning over, he cups his huge ear: "Do you want a blow job?" he whispers. At this, the massive Merseysider leaps up with fire in his eyes and smacks the man in the face. Knocking him off the stool, he proceeds to beat him all the way out of the bar. Finally he leaves him, badly bruised, in the car park and returns to his seat as if nothing had happened.
Amazed the bartender quickly brings over another beer. "I've never seen you react like that" he says.
"Just what did he say to you?"
"I'm not sure" the big scouser replies.
"Something about a job."

 

[sooey]

I would have expected even an itinerant Irishman to know that the word is scouSer.

Something like this might have been at least a bit funnier :

At the end of a tiny deserted bar is a huge Irish bloke - 6ft 5in tall and 350lbs. He's having a few beers when a short, well dressed and obviously gay man walks in and sits beside him. After 3 or 4 beers, the qeer fella finally plucks up the courage to say something to the big paddy.
Leaning over, he cups his huge ear: "Do you want a bl0w job?" he whispers.
At this, the massive bogtrotter leaps up with fire in his eyes and smacks the man in the face. Knocking him off the stool, he proceeds to beat him all the way out of the bar. Finally he leaves him, badly bruised and half dead, in the car park and returns to his seat as if nothing had happened.
Amazed the bartender quickly brings over another beer. "I've never seen you react like that" he says. "Just what did he say to you?"
"I'm not sure" the big mick replies. "Something about a job."

 

[thatbloke]

No no, something like this.

English man , Irish man and a Scouser are all in a pub in scouserland.
scouser says '' I bet I can get us a free drink''.
''Go on then say the other two''

So , he walks up to the bar and screams ''your a F'ing Q.ueer'' at the bar man.
The bar man beats the **** out of him for the insult. Afterwards the Scouser asked the barman '' what did you do that for? All I said was can I have three pints of beer''
''Sorry'' says the bar man , ''this round is on me''

English man says , ''Ahh that's easy , I can do that''

So they all step across the boarder to Englemanland.
English man walks confidently up to the bar man, '' your an F'ing q.ueer'' He shouts.
Bang!
''But all I asked for was three pints of beer''
So he gets them on the house just as his cousin the scouser did.

''Bit harsh that boys but I'm sure I can have a go'' Says paddy, so they all go to Ireland.
Paddy walks up to the bar , calls the bar man over and screams ''your a F'ing qu.eer'' and the bar man beats the **** out of him.
Paddy then says ''Why did you do that? , all I asked for was three pints of guinness and three packets of cheese and onion''

 

[spacecat]

Much as i agree with a lot of your comments

A comedian you are not!

 

[wotan]

If you intend to poke fun, at least spell scouser correctly

 

[joinerjohn]

Just look at the size of snico's shredded wheat. That's enough to feed a family of scousers for a fortnight (or until the next giro arrives)

 

[Bodgeitandleggit]

What a boring thread....not funny and acient jokes........BORING

 

[thatbloke]

Sorry to bore you, perhaps we should put a few ''by gums'' and ''ekky by thumps'' in it to brighten it up for you.

 

[Mickymoody]

Is it True that TERREEEE From BROOKSIDE IZZA


MMMEEERRRRRRDDDERRREEERR (scouse accent)

A bad joke thread, to reference to a potential murderer? Initial reports suggest that the actor was involved in some way, but not the murderer. Maybe covering for a mate?

Then the classic, ignorant view, of people that know nothing about anything.

Take that Essex programme on TV, the 'actors' in it, are either totally false, or so much up their own arses, where the sitcom Bread, showed life as it actually is. I find darn serf TV totally false, A baby steal in Eastenders, Essex programme, house programmes, it only costs £400,000, for a 1 bed flat, that needs doing up, get a bloody grip! No wonder the BBC is moving half the broadcasting up north.