The cylinder is a very short, wide route for the water to go through, so if it can get past the 3-port valve, it will take the path of least resistance, and go through the cylinder instead of the long, tight route through the downstairs rads.
I am thinking about your motorised valve not tightly closing off the cylinder coil.
See if you can manually operate the valve, and see if there is a possibility you fitted or connected it in such a way that it does not close off the DHW circuit.
I am thinking about your motorised valve not tightly closing off the cylinder coil.
See if you can manually operate the valve, and see if there is a possibility you fitted or connected it in such a way that it does not close off the DHW circuit.