You'll need all this stuff then too, mate... (shamelessly cut and paste, without credit to the author, from my usual forum)
Obviously anyone that thinks the
Intelligent Chip is a complete scam with absolutely no chance whatsoever of improving sound quality is just a narrow minded sceptic.
True audiophiles know that exposing their CD to high intensity light modifies them in a way that makes them sound more natural. Their prayers were answered when
this device came on the market.
Perhaps you have a problem with your CDs, DVDs becoming magnetised ? No, neither do I, but some people apparently require a
degausser to remove residual magnetism from their plastic and aluminium music storage.
Obviously no true audiophile would be seen dead without a pair of ultra tweeters connected to their system. Whilst normal tweeters tend to run out of puff at around 20kHz (above the hearing range of most adults),
these ultra-tweeters manage to produce frequencies of up to 1GHz. Microwave radiation from your tweeters can only help to improve sound quality right?
A great hi-fi system deserves to be played in a great sounding room, and what better way to improve the sonic qualities of your abode than to install a
small plank of wood. At just $240 you can afford to place dozens of these into your listening room.
I don't know about you, but I really miss the old valve sound. There's nothing like a bit of even harmonic distortion to colour the sound. Well, now you can create the same distorted sound from your solid state hifi equipment simply by coating the semiconductors in
this special lacquer. The manufactures say it's no longer available, they must have been overwhelmed by demand.
Even after installing your expensive bits of wood into your listening room, you may be disturbed by chaotic reflections from the walls and said bits of timber. Fear not, for under $1000 you can buy the
Hallograph, which defies our current understanding of physics.
Of course only the truly naive would attempt to qualify the performance of their
$9000 speaker cables before properly breaking them in. For just $689 you can buy the
Audioharmer CABLE COOKER (tm) to rapidly and fully break your cables in. This is superior to traditional techniques since the cabling is exposed to extreme signal levels and a special waveform that does not occur in normal system operation.
After the break in operation you'll be keen to plug your speaker cables into your system and give them a whirl. But wait, you aren't going to just lay those cables on the floor are you? Don't you realise how sonically damaging the effects or your carpet and floorboards are??? Never fear, you can buy
Cable Elevators to lift your cables off the floor giving tremendous increases in clarity, tonal accuracy, and dynamics.
