I hate pro-football and the whole 'my-team's-better-than-your-team-come-one-yooni'ed' crap that goes with it.
I'm not gay. (nowt wrong with that, before anyone chips in! )
I'm not a woman.
It's not that I'd rather be flower arranging or watching some chick flick nonsense...
It's just I've never been into it or seen the pull of it that makes one teams supporters belt seven shades of ****e out of another's.
I always get really extreme reactions from football fans when they start rambling at me about the game only to find that not only do I not give a c r a p, but I also know bugger all about it too.
Conversation with Essex bloke wagon driver the other day:
Footie nut: 'Phwoor, did you see 'X'-sies goal in the blah-blah game the other day? Cuts across the field, (insert 'thrilling' pseudo commentary here) and then straight in the back of the net... Lavverly!'
Me: 'Er, no.'
Footie nut: 'Yer wot? You Sky+'d it then, yeah?'
Me: 'Nope. Don't follow football.'
Footie Nut: 'So who's yer team then? You gotta have a team'.
Me: 'Nope'.
Footie nut: 'Nah, everyone has a team. Big bloke like you? You gotta love footie. Go on then, who's your team? you gotta have a team. Who is it? Oim passionate abaht it, I am. Passionate!'
Me: 'Uh, .... Liverpool then...... I suppose... (family always supported Liverpool - ergo: my default team in these situations)
Footie nut: 'Uurgh! They're crap! They're (insert 3 mins of anti-Liverpool FC rhetoric covering topics such as League things, player transfers, goal differences, managerial whatsits...) Starts singing some insulting football song or other involving his team defecating upon LFC fans...
Me: '(eyes glazed over...) Yeah, .... well, .... We'll see how we do on aggregate then (only big, football word I know - no idea what it means (small rocks?) or indeed, if aggregate is an upcoming factor) *starts forklift and revs engine*
Most annoying thing is that last year, Sky had this thing where they would show girly films/baby documentaries on other channels at the same time as big-matches. Because obviously, if you don't watch 'footie', you must love ****e like that!
Please! Am I alone here?
I'm not gay. (nowt wrong with that, before anyone chips in! )
I'm not a woman.
It's not that I'd rather be flower arranging or watching some chick flick nonsense...
It's just I've never been into it or seen the pull of it that makes one teams supporters belt seven shades of ****e out of another's.
I always get really extreme reactions from football fans when they start rambling at me about the game only to find that not only do I not give a c r a p, but I also know bugger all about it too.
Conversation with Essex bloke wagon driver the other day:
Footie nut: 'Phwoor, did you see 'X'-sies goal in the blah-blah game the other day? Cuts across the field, (insert 'thrilling' pseudo commentary here) and then straight in the back of the net... Lavverly!'
Me: 'Er, no.'
Footie nut: 'Yer wot? You Sky+'d it then, yeah?'
Me: 'Nope. Don't follow football.'
Footie Nut: 'So who's yer team then? You gotta have a team'.
Me: 'Nope'.
Footie nut: 'Nah, everyone has a team. Big bloke like you? You gotta love footie. Go on then, who's your team? you gotta have a team. Who is it? Oim passionate abaht it, I am. Passionate!'
Me: 'Uh, .... Liverpool then...... I suppose... (family always supported Liverpool - ergo: my default team in these situations)
Footie nut: 'Uurgh! They're crap! They're (insert 3 mins of anti-Liverpool FC rhetoric covering topics such as League things, player transfers, goal differences, managerial whatsits...) Starts singing some insulting football song or other involving his team defecating upon LFC fans...
Me: '(eyes glazed over...) Yeah, .... well, .... We'll see how we do on aggregate then (only big, football word I know - no idea what it means (small rocks?) or indeed, if aggregate is an upcoming factor) *starts forklift and revs engine*
Most annoying thing is that last year, Sky had this thing where they would show girly films/baby documentaries on other channels at the same time as big-matches. Because obviously, if you don't watch 'footie', you must love ****e like that!
Please! Am I alone here?