I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women
differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.
I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were
getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says
"I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet
dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went
to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend
time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping
at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her
while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She
couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all.
She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets
get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department
where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she
was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a
shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a
tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I
think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She
was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think
this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I
don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a
baffled "WHAT?"
I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a
while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man
enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.
differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.
I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were
getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says
"I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet
dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went
to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend
time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping
at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her
while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She
couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all.
She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets
get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department
where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she
was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a
shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a
tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I
think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She
was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think
this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I
don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a
baffled "WHAT?"
I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a
while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man
enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.