Why are poptatoes so small nowadays

[AdamW]

I don't eat chips too often, I'm a rice and pasta man. But when I do, I eat the oven chips for convenience. The kind of things I eat them with are generally in the oven at the same temperature for the same time, so it makes life easy for me. Plus I don't have a deep fat frier. The trick is, cooking them for long enough and hot enough.

But when I go home to my parents' I enjoy having proper chips. They are definitely superior, and very different to frozen chips (or even chip shop chips, but they are great too).

We used to have big arguments over this: for me and my siblings oven chips were a treat that we only got at my grandparents' house. So, we preferred them back then and would ask for them every time we had chips. My dad is a man who appreciates his chips, and they MUST be cut fresh, rested, fried, rested, refried. The emotions he felt when we asked for oven chips were equivalent to a patriot watching his own children burn a flag and p*ss it out. Each time we asked for oven chips, he had no son!

Perhaps you should genetically modify potatoes to make them suitable for the proper, English chip and only the proper chip. Then chuck the DNA about to all other countries so they can't grow potatoes to make their mincing little matchstick-type chips and are forced to eat real chips. Preferably with a steak and ale pie.

 

[kendor]

In these days of trying to live healthier lives perhaps a total ban on chips is in order?

 

[oilman]

With all the scheming politicians lies we have to deal with, death is the only certainty, and here you are trying to deny us that too.

There's nothing like a nice chip butty topped off with a generous helping of lard and salt.

 

[kendor]

With all the scheming politicians lies we have to deal with, death is the only certainty, and here you are trying to deny us that too.

There's nothing like a nice chip butty topped off with a generous helping of lard and salt.

I suppose it will be alright if it's brown bread

 

[AdamW]

I've got a theory.

Because so many women are on the pill now, in fact even many teenage girls are on it for medical reasons, female wee-wee has lots of pregnancy hormones in it. Because all the water is recycled, there is a lot of oestrogen and progesterone coming out of your taps.

This has been linked to reduced sperm count and mobility.

Perhaps it affects potatoes in a similar fashion? Our potatoes are being sex-changed from King Edwards into Charlottes. And therefore smaller.

 

[kendor]

just out of interest are potatoes male or female?

 

[oilman]

No.

 

[masona]

Okay bi-sexual then ? or can you tell by looking at it

 

[securespark]

just out of interest are potatoes male or female?

Depends how you fashion them with a knife....

To talk about the sizing of fruit and veg, well that's been going on for literally decades.

M & S started it with fruit and veg being graded according to size, there used to be the size on the label (eg sprouts, 25mm), but now everyone is doing it. And grading produce according to size, too. Just stop calling me Shirley. Roger, Oveur and Out!

 

[TexMex]

M & S started it with fruit and veg being graded according to size, there used to be the size on the label (eg sprouts, 25mm)

I can see a day that they'll start doing that with 2x4s

 

[kendor]

just wondered if the sexing thing came into vegetables like it does with plants?

 

[securespark]

Can you expand on that a bit, Ken? I'm not sure what you mean.

 

[TexMex]

Kendor.
Plants have their sex organs in their flowers. Most plants (I believe potatoes included) have both male (Staymen) and female (Stigma) parts. This makes them Hermaphrodite.

Vegetables are just another part of the plant. Now looking at the human equivalent. Is your foot male or female? You could argue that coming from a male body it is male. Or you could decide that since it does not have any sex determining qualities of it's own, it is neuter (neither male or femal).
Extending this logic, potatoes would be either Neuter or Hermaphrodite. Just depends on your point of view.

Reminds me of the one about an indian warrior that was never allowed to take a wife .

Another useless piece of information. Cucumbers have a bitter taste if the flowers that produce them have been fertilised.

 

[kendor]

cheers Tex for clearing that one up for me.