You can tell Christmas is coming

[ladylola]

Watching the gogglebox the other day it became obvious that Christmas is around the corner as the perfume and aftershave adverts are everywhere. You know the sort of thing flashy beautiful young people in surreal arty settings with a seudo french voiceover.

However, as we talked about it we decided that all perfumes and aftershaves are actually just made for women. Female perfume smells like women want to smell and aftershave smells like what a woman wants a man to smell like.

Wouldn't it be better , therefore, if perfumes are meant to attract for them to actually smell good to the opposite sex? For example female perfumes should smell like the sort of things men like, terpentine, tar, or how about the smell of a steam engine -a sort of combination of steam and hot oil

I've even thought of the name "a traction!"(said in the same suedo french accent probably,but I'll give them that one).
Anybody got any other ideas as to how perfumes and colognes could smell?

 

[Whitespirit66]

Anybody got any other ideas as to how perfumes and colognes could smell?

Untitled

• Whitespirit66
• 5 Dec 2011
• 2

I have always thought that it was odd marketing aftershave or perfume under the Dunhill name. Does it make the wearer smell like a pub curtain? Perhaps I can get an Old Holborn version for 'er indoors?

Yes, Chrimbo is almost upon us. Vast areas of Asda's floor space is taken up with pallets of chemical lager. This is reinforced with a small Berlin Wall of mince pies.

Soon be Easter!

 

[Susiejb]

....mmmm LL I am not sure that I want to smell like turpentine or steam engines.....I may get some very funny looks when sitting in a restaurant

One of my favourite perfumes at the moment is LOLA .... maybe it was made with you in mind

 

[Burnerman]

With me, its the new fragrance from Diesel.
A splash or two behind the ears after changing the fuel filter
It does not have the desired effect, but causes a small rash
John

 

[ladylola]

....mmmm LL I am not sure that I want to smell like turpentine or steam engines.....I may get some very funny looks when sitting in a restaurant

Ah but Susie the turps or steam engine smell is for the benifit of your other half and those funny looks in the restaurant would be because they would all know what you would be having for afters if you get my meaning

 

[Diane2]

i find that the date is the best indicator that chrismas is on its way ..

as for smells..........tho i recall this one has been covered already...

i like the smell of a hot bike engine.......and leather...

or if both of these are unavailable....davidoff coolwater does it for me every time.

 

[Whitespirit66]

i like the smell of a hot bike engine.......and leather...

Where are you in Lancs?

Have Honda Melody and leather thong. Will travel.

 

[Diane2]

Have Honda Melody

do Honda Melodys have an engine?

 

[Susiejb]

Ah but Susie the turps or steam engine smell is for the benifit of your other half and those funny looks in the restaurant would be because they would all know what you would be having for afters if you get my meaning

I think discreet is more my style LL
anyway he would want fishing boilie and maggotty smell....
sorry but your idea will never work
I hope

 

[Diane2]

oh i dunno...i think a little dab of 2 stroke behind a ladies ears would appeal to a lot of guys .

 

[ladylola]

Now we're starting to get it

 

[Whitespirit66]

Have Honda Melody

do Honda Melodys have an engine?

Ok, so it's not your typical babe magnet.

But, I can assure you that all 50 of those CCs will be good and hot, long before I get near Burnley.

 

[Diane2]

hmmm...with a top speed of a little over 30mph....its gonna take you a while to get to Burnley......tho why anyone would want to go there is beyond me!!.....oh...and you may want to re think the thong....its been snowing up here!!..

 

[Space cat]

Anybody got any other ideas as to how perfumes and colognes could smell?

Listen carefully ladies; I'll say this only once. The perfume specifically designed to attract the opposite sex exudes from your own body. Or so I'm told, because I can't actually smell it.

What I can smell is the chemical stench of most of the stuff that comes in bottles. I have to hold my breath when I walk through the perfume section of a shop because it almost bites the back of my throat. (It must be the chemical base that the advertised smells are dissolved in that I dislike because the few exceptions are oil-based.) There are a few smalls that I do like (tomato plants, seaweed, lawn clippings, fungus and leather come to mind) but I don't think you can get these in a bottle - and I'm not sure I'd want them on our other half anyway.

I am not sure that I want to smell like turpentine or steam engines

A wise decision.

 

[ladylola]

Listen carefully ladies; I'll say this only once. The perfume specifically designed to attract the opposite sex exudes from your own body. Or so I'm told, because I can't actually smell it.

Ah yes that's it pheromones, the subtle musky fragrance coming from a taut heaving body glistening all over with little beads of perspiration running in rivlets down the neck leaving the skin sensuous and slickly moist inviting a tongue to track pathways to... to ...
I think I'd best go for a lie down or maybe a cold shower