I'm just interested.

[flooringman]

Although I believe in marriage I am not on a crusade but was interested in why people don't get married when they have children. I'm not talking about waiting for the divorce to come through or whatever but people who just live together for many years.

Of course I don't know the marital status of the members on this forum and I wouldn't want to upset anyone for the world but how would you feel if you are unmarried and living with someone and you are out with your children and some kindly old lady came up and enquired "How are the little bastards today?"

Would it just be an uncomfortable truth or does it just not matter?

 

[Cumbrianroofer30yrsexp]

It just does not matter.

Ive been with my lass for 21 years,we have 4 kids and are not married.We both refer to ourselves as married

If im talking about her i say my mrs and she sais the same.As for getting married?We just dont believe in it.

Commitment is good enough for us,sod a piece of paper.As for my kids being bastards there loved,fed,clothed and watered and have two people who live in the same house to look after them,thats all they need.

 

[joinerjohn]

Years ago there were real benefits to be had if you were married. Higher tax code for starters. Labour took this away and started the long erosion of values in this country. Nowadays in my local, most of the older couples are married, but the younger ones either live together or just cohabit at the weekend after a night on the p**s.

 

[oompah]

We got married in October 1982 I'm sure we got a tax rebate for doing so but that was not the reason it was love its the world we live in now, there is no stigma attached to being born out of wedlock now as there was back then and very few people lived in sin ie: not married but lived together.Just the way of the world not sure if its right but who am I to judge if the daughters decided to co habit with some one then best of luck to them and they would get all the support we could give.

 

[conny]

Been married for 35 years yesterday because at the time it was what we wanted to do and it was the 'norm'.
Have 2 grown up kids who both have children but they are not married, (our kids I mean, not the G/Kids! God, I'm not that old yet! ).

Wasn't there talk recently about re-introducing a marriage allowance of about £150 a year. WOW! £3 a week better off! (Till they tax and NI you on it).

 

[gregers]

ive been engaged for 20 years IS THAT CLOSE ENOUGH??????
we have 3 kids.have the normal up and downs(ooooeeerrrr )like every one else has.
she would marry me 20 years ago or tomorrow.ITS ME.
i worry that if we went down that route,we could end up like another statistic??
but were happy as we are,so why spoil it.
we have seen to many friends marry then a few years down the line part and the aftermath isnt very pretty for all concerned.
it all comes down to commitment to 1 another.

 

[Blasphemous]

Although I believe in marriage...

What do you mean, you 'believe in marriage'?

 

[EdwardCurrent]

I'd be very very rude to the 'kind old lady'

She doesn't sound very 'kind' to me !!!!!!

 

[Donkmeister]

I'm not married, but I do intend to get married.

I think the fact that all the financial and social benefits have gone out of the window should sound the death knoll for the saying "It's only a bit of paper".

Indeed, some people have a wedding for wedding's sake, and the marriage certificate is just a momento that you take home. Certain mammary-blessed celebs who's name rhymes with "Boredom", for instance.

If people are prepared to entrust their entire financial and emotional security* to just one other person, then to say "Marriage is only a bit of paper" is as disrespectful to married couples as it is disrespectful to refer to unmarried couples' children as b*stards. Less likely to get you punched though...

If you see no benefit to marriage then you should probably save the money and spend it on something you do want instead! Do what pleases you with whomever it pleases.

*I'm referring to the financial r*ping and pillaging, plus loss of hair and access to children that men are obliged to endure when going through a divorce.

 

[obmcfc]

Been with my partner over 8 years, not intention of getting married. She was before and has 3 grown up kids, I have a son of 12 (wasn't married to his mum)

We refer to each as the mrs etc etc

Don't think I will ever marry as 48 now. Really really happy with my life, wouldn't want to change a thing and am thankful for my blessings every single day

 

[AndrewSchofield]

I am married and have children, and got married before we had children. I presonally would not have been happy having children 'out of wedlock' but that is my personal thought - if people are happy with their own commitment and don't feel the need to get married thats their choice. I know that problems do arise when one of the couple would like to get married and the other isn't bothered - some of my friends are in that situation at the moment.

One thing that I wouldn't have liked had we not been married is that our children would only have the same surname as one of their parents (barring a double-barrelled situation which, in my opinion, would be worse!).

 

[Steve]

Child born to unmarried parents - whose surname does it get?

 

[PrenticeBoyofDerry]

I have a son of 12 (wasn't to his mum)

 

[obmcfc]

I have a son of 12 (wasn't to his mum)

Rectified thanks mate

 

[Big Tone]

It is thought that marriage was invented by man, for man, so that he could own her.

Troglodytes’ used to urinate on the woman’s legs so that other troglodytes’ knew who she belonged to. Now then, the man’s olfactory system isn’t very good at distinguishing different smells so they would often go back to the wrong woman.

This is the period, I would say 10,000 years BC in August at about 4:00 p.m., that man found this exiting and created the popular misconception that a ‘teapot is allowed to have many cups’. However, as we evolved, man invented perfume because she stunk to high heaven and so he had to think of something else to mark his territory.

Also, women started shaving their legs with flint and therefore the smell didn’t last like it used to on the matted leg-hair. During this period, women also discovered that if they stuck the inside of a Dugong’s bladder coated in crushed hover flies on their legs overnight, the hair attached itself to the inside for easy removal the next day; an early form of waxing.

Now it’s easy to see this system was clearly flawed but the habit of unfaithfulness was to carry on being used until the present day, only under a different umbrella of excuses ranging from complete denial to “I was drunk”.

Later that year women all over Trogsville started to distrust man and so wanted to mark their territory as well. But there’s a little known fact that it was actually a woman’s idea to use a ring after she discovered some leftover 4skin from a slaughtered Bongip, (a kind of extinct pig), fitted on her man’s finger and so Marriage in its earliest form was finally born. It was also used as an early form of Hula Hoop scratching.

Well, that’s my theory. I’ve submitted it for my Phd so wish me luck…

Next week, "The nagging gene"