Thanks for the kind offer, alas I'm too busy being an actual heating engineer.
I would wager that Tibbot has bigger pipes to pump than waste time meeting you.
If you are going to try and affect a repair on your own, you might as well do it right and not kill or maim anyone. It's clear...
Young man your sarcasm is going to get someone hurt.
I suggest you put down your withering cynicism and listen your (no doubt) elders and betters.
A man with bad gas is a friend of nobody.