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You would have to check timing as suggested, you may get lucky with just a tooth jumped but I doubt it.

I'm guessing it's a non runner?

Fairplay if it is another wind up, very funny and kudos for sticking with it.

I'm wondering has it dragged some crap through and blocked the fuel filter. Seems strange it happened after low fuel.

Lots of aftermarket lamps available but some are not strictly legal. I put a hid conversion kit in a Vw some years ago, passed mot ok and made a huge difference but only possible as it had projector style headlights.

I'd stick to quality such as Varta, they are very good. Leave Lion junk alone. As for coding I'm led to believe it isn't strictly necessary, it just takes the car a bit longer to recognise it and vary the charging accordingly. As long as the battery is the same spec.

Osram nightbreakers are a pretty good upgrade and a straight swap if yours are standard halogen lamps. Are the headlamps pretty clean with no discoloured glass/plastic?

Maybe the dpf is blocked? don’t trust AA men and diagnostic machines, they just guess and want to move on as quickly as possible.

Have you verified any test voltages at the pump wiring?

Too difficult to guess at really but I’d still suspect a boost leak somewhere.

Clear codes, if it returns then maybe they disturbed something when doing the belt. check the boost pressure sensor is actually connected. if it performed well before the belt change chances are something they have done isn’t right.

Just leave it off, it may help catch some oil leaks and stop them staining your drive though if it does leak a little.

You got a pic of the dpf end and the clamp?

A second hand good condition exhaust would have cost you around £60. Parts are plentiful especially exhausts due to people upgrading. I sold a cat back stainless one for £100 a while ago.

Get someone to run the hosepipe over it while you watch inside. could be anything from a leaky cable grommet to a poorly fitted windscreen.

Just to put this to bed I ended up doing the job out of sympathy and went for a recon head. Valves were not too bad to my surprise when spun in a drill but I suspect the cam timing had moved as the drive gears are pressed on so they can move. Not a pleasant job but all is well now.

Seems to be related to the crank sensor circuit or the G28 sensor. http://wiki.ross-tech.com/wiki/index.php/16706/P0322/000802

Some crap can accumulate in the bottom of the filter so I’d personally empty it and clean it out. A code read as suggested would help, common things to watch our for are egr valve and also dpf problems if it’s doing short journeys but no point guessing. Watch out for shiny metal in the fuel...

Autotrader for me, the £75 until sold option is very good. Maybe Facebook marketplace but if you value your sanity I'd leave well alone. Some of the owners groups on there are very good though.

There is a reset procedure for the flap motors on some Vag cars with climate control, worth googling it to see if it can be done on yours.