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Prunes would be safer

It's a big life decision to make, can't rush into these things!

The garden needs some plants

You can get scaffolding staging in lengths up to 6m, that would do as a deck, but it's pricey! It's basically a ladder with plywood on top...

If it was me, I would be more tempted to just scrape/wire brush all loose paint and rust, then give it 2 coats of a direct to metal paint like hammerite/rustolueam/lidl aldi own brand The lidl/aldi direct to metal paint is good for the money

Post some pics?

I'm not sure if 2 mad collies and a lawn is compatible in a small space? I would be more tempted to keep the patio which looks in decent shape, get rid of the slate chippings, and plant grass/shrubs/flowers on the banks?

This guy is local, does some amazing work https://freshpaint.org/

Sharpies are rubbish, they're not permanent. You can get paint pens (real paint, in a pen!). Think lidl will have some in this weekend, or you can get them any colour you want on ebay. I use them on a lot of hand tools. Shovels rakes etc I normally mark with linemarking paint (cos it's cheap...

Looks to me like they would give you good grip when it's wet

Needs cut back more, you've left a lot of stubs that are just ripe for poking someone in the eye

Sorry woody the guy makes them with few different tool brands! https://impacttrainhorns.com/

Sack truck and a ratchet strap, bottom of the post on the footplate, angle about 45deg, top of post on your pals shoulder.

Headstone?

To me it looks nowhere near wide enough or deep enough? Looking on google there's sites saying the concrete should be reinforced, 12" wide, 6" deep. Sounds overkill but that would stand the test of time, unlike what you're got now.

I don't know anything about sliding gates, but that looks quite a narrow strip of concrete/mortar, I bet there's not much depth to it either

The gates look like mild steel not wrought iron, so easy to weld. Maybe an excuse to buy an inverter arc welder and do it yourself?

Cheapest place is straight from the quarry, but you will need a suitable vehicle!

Google site safety sign, you'll get the "standard" one for like £15/20. I assume you have heras type fencing?

You won't know until you take up the deck and see what's under there. Could be beautiful soil, concrete, paving, gravel etc etc