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The dementia gene got crowded out by the numskull gene.

I'd let them go straight to the front of the queue for PCSO Bean's noose.

Yer not clever enough to catch me!

Well Mr Bean. What plans would you have for me during your twelve hours of play?

Well Mr Bean. All you need to do is accept that the police are not above the law and I suspect we could agree on a lot of things over a pint. But you do have strange fantasies about hanging shoplifters and young lads who play football on the village green. Most normal men fantasise about...

What going on PCSO Bean? Usually with your crackpot ideas you sober up and there's a hasty editing of yer posts. This looney suggestion is still going strong 24 hours after you started the thread. You on a stag weekend?

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Chicken%20Pizza Oh Deary Deary Me peter. I do hope if you're going to post pictures it's number 1), but I fear from your postings that you are referring to No 2!

Well, yes , but you need to step back a bit first. There are three major Abrahamic religions (Judaism, Christianity, and Islam) who are also represented out there. They all have their axes to grind and are essentially trouble and in one way or another hate each other. Then you break Islam...

Ever been to Hong Kong ?

Joe is the board numskull. As soon as you realise that he makes complete sense.

It's very true that you cannot blame a cat for behaving like a cat. Like you cannot blame a dog for behaving like a dog. So responsible dog owners keep their dogs under control when off their property and carry plastic bags with them when the dog takes a dump. Suggest the same to cat...

He's bonkers. Doesn't understand cats. Irresponsible owner.

If the owners had kept the moggie on a lead there would be not have been an incident where humans could have been hurt.

I never said cats had no use. In fact I still have my 1980s copy of "101 uses of a dead cat". I shall have to scqn and post. Cats are fine just keep them on a lead when not on your property and pick up their poops. No problemo

I'm not extolling the virtues of dogs. I'm diminishing the useful functionality of cats.

American houses are jerry built. But that twister wouldn't have been kind to a UK town either.

Show me a cat that can guide a blind person from their home to the shops.

Even better than being self employed is setting up a Ltd company and punting your services through that. Bit more paperwork involved and a bit more hassle but there are definite advantages when it comes to how much you can stick in your back pocket. Put yourself on your own books, pay...

But it's not a news item, it's a columnist expressing (hohoho) an opinion. Hard to tell the difference in the Express to be sure, but the big 'Comment' at the top of a page should give a clue.....

Dunno. If you work in the public sector, haven't got a job, are a bum, are a complete waster, pensioner, useless bum - you'd be a loonie not to vote Labour. Labour will look after you very well indeed. Everybody else should vote anybody but Labour as that party will steal all your money and...