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Blob

I see the post deletion fairies have been active again...

Wire

Barrels (full of beer) :D

Man

Bulgaria

If that is the top of the en suite soil pipe then I am 100% sure it should not be open like that. Shouldn't it have some sort of vent??

I meant DIY by bespoke. I had a similar issue with an old very thick MDF batten which had been screwed and glued to the concrete lintel above my lounge window. No way was it going to budge without smashing the plasterwork. What I did was measure the batten then construct a cover which fitted...

Hitler

How securely is that old batten fixed to the wall? Sometimes they can be really difficult to get off without ruining some surrounding surface plaster. Generally, they are also well fixed in (sometimes glued AND screwed) A new batten (as suggested by alan333) would be the way to go but can you...

One of the numerous experts on here will give you definitive advice but, IMHO, never go for a macerator. The amount of issues they throw up appear to be numerous and most plumbers will advise to steer clear. There have been loads of threads on here about macerators so well worth using the search...

Hamburger

Squirt

Orgasm

Amoeba

Bit confused about your post. Looks to me like both strings are present?

Bandage

Must have taken you ages... If that makes you smart then I must be a genius because a 3 second search on the web throws up this as a first hit...

Gypsum