"Roses are reddish, Violets are bluish, If it weren't for Christmas, We'd all be Jewish." ~ Benny Hill
"Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven." ~ W.C. Fields
"The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin." ~ Jay Leno
"Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April fifteenth of the next year." ~ P.J. O'Rourke, Modern Manners
"Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live." ~ Dennis Miller
"Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven." ~ W.C. Fields
"The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin." ~ Jay Leno
"Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April fifteenth of the next year." ~ P.J. O'Rourke, Modern Manners
"Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live." ~ Dennis Miller
