Sex education.

[H&J]

My 10 year old grandson was told he was going to be given a talk at school about puberty and that there would be some sexual content.

Now he is a sensitive little soul, who worries about everything, his father tried to talk to him but but found it difficult, so asked me to have a go.

Went through all the usual, spots, hair growing etc, also told him that he would start to get sexual feelings, which seemed to interest him and wanted to know more. I told him that eventually natural things would start happening to him, gave him a few details and mentioned wet dreams, usual question did I ever have them and what are they like.

I told him that I used to when I was very much younger and that they were wonderful and that I was only sorry that they have to stop.

Now the big day came and the young female teacher gave the talk, she touched on the dreams, my grandson told her what I had said and replied " they are not wonderful and can be very painful make you feel sick and dizzy".

Being like a lot of kids because his teacher said it, it's got to be right.

Now to my point, why was a young female given the job of trying to explain to a boy how he is going to feel, when she has no real idea. To me it's the same as a male teacher telling girls how they will feel when thay first start to develop boobs or have a period.

I think 10 is too young to be given sex education but I am known for being out of touch.

Any comments?

 

[kendor]

sounds like the teacher was straying from the curriculum and giving her own views on the subject, a dangerous thing to do with a group of very impressionable youngsters who will probably believe that information for many years to come.

 

[petewood]

My son recently had the same lesson, from a visiting teacher. I will have to ask him what he learnt. I personally do not think 10 is too young for this kind of education. I think that if we as adults are more open about the whole thing it will cause far fewer problems for the kids in later life (including a proportion of teenage pregnancies). My son already mostly knew what sex is all about, when we discovered that he was getting misinformation on the subject from his friends in the playground a couple of years ago, we decided that whenever he asked us about the subject we would answer his questions fully, which is what we have done.
I think he finds the whole subject more amusing than interesting at the moment.
On the subject of what your son's teacher said, I think I would probably ask her about what was said. I don't necessarily think it should be a job for teachers of a particular sex as long as they are trained in the subject. If after speaking with her I thought she was not teaching the kids correctly I would have a word with the headteacher about it.
As I'm sure you know though, kids of this age cannot be relied on to report things objectively and perhaps the comment was taken out of context.

As an afterthought, I do not necessarily think that male teachers should be precluded from teaching about breast development, mine are developing nicely since I started spending more time sitting at a desk!

 

[kendor]

How would you feel if Michael Jackson was invited to give a sex education lesson at your local school i know it's hypothetical but am interested to see what the answers will be

 

[Igorian]

I think the subject of sex education is still one of the taboo subjects in this country and is not covered that well. I agree with Pete in that you should ask the teacher to clarify what was said, as kids of that age can exaggerate a little, although I think the general quality of education is below standard in many areas.

I worked in Holland for a while, where sex education is taught from an early age. Probably explains why they have a low level of teenage pregnancy compared to other European countries.

 

[kendor]

They have some funny practices over there, last i heard they put clogs on the mice so they can hear them running up the stairs.

 

[H&J]

Taking things out of context, although the comments painful, makes me feel sick and dizzy, can prepare a young man nicely as to comments you are likely to hear from the sex side of a relationship, so maybe she did know what she was talking about.

I believe you can now purchase a man bra for your developing problem, just try and get something sexy, you don't want to look stupid.

 

[petewood]

How would you feel if Michael Jackson was invited to give a sex education lesson at your local school i know it's hypothetical but am interested to see what the answers will be

I would feel that the person who had invited him should get their head examined.

 

[david and julie]

How would you feel if Michael Jackson was invited to give a sex education lesson at your local school i know it's hypothetical but am interested to see what the answers will be

Not like you that kendor to judge a man before the end of his trial.

I don't have any children but am curious if this sort education would be better carried out by a visiting nurse or similar with the specialist training to answer any questions. They could also then be a point of contact if the kids have any problems or concerns in the future and would undoubtably be more confident and knowledgeable. There is so much more to it these days, they need to know about protecting themselves too. STI's and Aids/Hiv etc are on the increase and it is all part of the same subject now.

Teachers have enough on their plates as it is and some may even find it embarrasing.

 

[2scoops0406]

Well my oldest has started asking questions at 4, I never baulk at giving the real answers, he seems ok

 

[Igorian]

They have some funny practices over there, last i heard they put clogs on the mice so they can hear them running up the stairs.

You've been smoking the Dutch home-grown again haven't you

 

[Igorian]

I don't have any children but am curious if this sort education would be better carried out by a visiting nurse or similar with the specialist training to answer any questions. They could also then be a point of contact if the kids have any problems or concerns in the future and would undoubtably be more confident and knowledgeable. There is so much more to it these days, they need to know about protecting themselves too. STI's and Aids/Hiv etc are on the increase and it is all part of the same subject now.

Teachers have enough on their plates as it is and some may even find it embarrasing.

While a visiting nurse might seem like a good idea, they would probably have one for every X thousand kids, so individual contact would be impractical.

I can't see why a teacher should be embarrassed about teaching what is basically a biological function. It's only because when people talk sex, they immediately assume seediness and as I mentioned in my previous post, the subject is still relatively taboo where it shouldn't be. If a teacher was too embarrased to approach the subject, then maybe they should find another job.

I have two girls and we (me & the missus) openly discuss any problems or concerns about sex, contraception and STDs. Lets face it, as parents we have all been through the mill, so who better to teach them.

 

[david and julie]

Yes funding would no doubt be an issue but the powers that be need to take a longer view and consider the full cost to both these young people and society as a whole. When I say a point of contact, I mean a listening, non judgemental ear, that can point these kids in the right direction should they have issues or problems. I don't mean one nurse being run ragged trying to look after thousands.

That you and your wife can talk to your kids and that they will listen is a credit to you both on bringing them up properly. Unfortunately this is not the case with many families though.

I just feel with so many health implications and such an array of different contraceptives available these days, that a specifically trained group may be better suited to the role than a teacher.

It is a sad reflection on society that we have some officials in meaningless paper shuffling posts, yet begrudge funding one of the most important issues of all for our children. Suppose its all about priorities really.

 

[felix]

Do schools actually teach anything about sex at all? My impression, gained from two kids who got their so called sex education in a single lesson in year 5, is that they only teach reproduction. The luckier ones might also learn how to avoid this mostly unwanted side effect but in many cases that will be their lot.

I once witnessed two politicians on TV arguing over the relative importance of teaching what they called 'the plumbing' as opposed to the emotional aspects. I had to side with the one who could see beyond a simple "Pass widget A over spigot B into socket C" approach (actually spigot B is unlikely to get a look-in) but both of them were missing the point. Our kids need to learn both - and that includes the function of spigot B!

I imagined a pair of music teachers arguing over how to use their one lesson of the year. One wants to describe the workings of a piano and the other wants the kids to hear a musical scale. Even if they managed to do both I don't think OFSTED would be impressed.

For what it's worth, our kids have had straight answers to all questions including one that cropped up when their cousin bought their grandmother "some balls in a nice box" for her birthday. Yes, they were love eggs! My unequivocal answer to all teenagers who want to know what sex is all about? You start in the handwork class and stay there, preferably until you've finished school. And to those who say "been there, done that, boring" you've obviously learnt nothing.

 

[jasy]

How would you feel if Michael Jackson was invited to give a sex education lesson at your local school i know it's hypothetical but am interested to see what the answers will be

Why ask this question Kendor??