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If they want justification then justification you will have to provide. They are excessive, they look to be much smaller than the fascia (or perhaps the photos are deceiving?) in which case why are they notched so much? I would hazard remedial work could include sistering say every third joist...

Haha, it was a tongue in cheek offer really, it's probably completely knackered/rotten still having been sat inside it's box in the garage for the last couple of decades! :p

Probably condensation in this situation, the nail is a cold bridge from the rafters (which are coldish) to the inside head of the nail (which are warm) so condensation forms around them. Nothing else you can do other than improving the insulation situation, I wouldn't worry and it's not a big worry.

Mine never curled at the edges or rippled and they're an easy solution.

I used to have a pull down screen fixed to the wall, worked a treat, a black border makes a big difference IMO. Still got it in the garage actually, god knows why, you can have it if you can collect it. :p

Are any of these boards actually approved for long term external exposure without any further treatment or covering with something?

The pitch as built at the moment has already been stated in this thread.

The bricks from 3 courses above the window are all over the place compared to below?

As above, use a tape measure. Then check the angle but you are right the vertical would need to be 1030 to achieve 17°. Assuming the height is 750mm the angle is about 12.4° atm. In theory you can simply add some height to get to the desired angle assuming the height works for planning or PD or...

Boring troll boys.

Well we don't know how long the posts are so difficult o comment on the exact depth but if it were me I'd remove the old concrete and I'd look at fitting the legs into holes say 8-10" diameter (but will probably end up bigger as the poles aren't vertical and you'll have to remove any existing...

That wont be from B&Q it will be from AliExpress except someone has imported some and sells them via B&Q, typically anything you see that's 'online only' from B&Q is generally pretty rubbish and expensive and the sellers are not B&Q and are often pretty rubbish with regards to communications.

Might have to improvise, maybe something like this: https://vanshelves.co.uk/products/copy-of-18x-sealant-tube-holder-mastic-caulk-silicone-for-van-racking-workshop-garage-shed And then fit a carrying handle to it eg

Surely those hangers from B&Q are designed to be fixed to the wall, be that in the van or workshop, hence the screw holes.

100 between + 25 under will be better, using 2 x 50's is identical to 1 x 100, more cutting/labour though. Don't understand the wall question.

Something like this https://www.grasswarehouse.co.uk/collections/accessories/products/artificial-grass-joining-tape and this https://www.grasswarehouse.co.uk/collections/accessories/products/artificial-grass-glue-cartridge But you might have to check with the actual grass manufacturer (if you...

Agreed, the 'handyman' has made things worse, now the patch has to be joined to the existing bit and that should be a strip of special joining fabric underneath both bits and a special adhesive used to join both bits to the fabric strip.

Surely the concrete for the swing legs should have been set a 6 inches or so beneath the surface of the fake grass? Then whatever the base is for the grass could have just continued over concrete swing bases, sounds like the bases were installed too high initially. Fixings like these are used at...

BCO's are not there to advise you, it's up to you to satisfy the regs. Sounds like you're doing it on a Notice and just making it up as you go along. BCO's love that approach. Someone is lacking common sense in this thread, I don't think it's the BCO.

It looks like it may go into a socket at the top.