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Do you know anyone who's really, really, really good at cake decorating?

Yes, and it is still available on the Screwfix site but I was using the direct link and not a forum redirect which is intercepted for advertising (when did that start?). Image now attached.

Yes, that description matches https://www.screwfix.com/p/reel-110v/21981

Volt drop is calculated from the origin of the installation ie the meter. Earth impedance likewise. You'll have to pay for any heavier cables needed in the submain or the circuit cables in your house. And 70 metres of submain cable may be a very limiting factor if in the future you need...

You can get contoured foam eaves fillers from corrugated iron suppliers and even the DIY sheds. https://www.wickes.co.uk/Wickes-Eaves-Fillers-for-Corrugated-Sheets-Pack-6/p/240165

Is there a single grommet in those back boxes? Why aren't the earths dressed neatly round the perimeter of the boxes? The supply lives of all the switches probably need to be linked together, but that shouldn't be done until all the wiring is tested and your electrician should be doing that...

Whistles nonchalantly ... CW1411 Dropwire 10B and a Dexseal box or run back to the BT66 https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Genuine-BT-Telephone-Data-Cable-Joint-Repair-External-Enclosure-Kit-Waterproof/252801950816...

Raytel Elvox 6200 https://www.raytelsecurity.com/door-entry-audio-handset-elvox-vimar-petrarca-6200-series.html Elvox are available from other retailers but the in use/privacy buttons may be a Raytel add-on.

Can you access your CCTV and Ring from any other external network (ie not 4G)? It's most likely to be a router/firewall/port forwarding problem not opening the relevant ports or not updating its IP address for external access.

Cheap nasty ****e But Red and White should be A and B - the outer pair.

McDonald Cubeflow have the wall mounted rectangular heaters with built in header tank https://www.mcdonaldwaterstorage.com/products/rectangular-hot-water-tanks#CubeflowMini

I don't know about trends, but I hate fixed shower heads, rainfall or otherwise. If you want one, please also fit a handheld spray on a riser rail with a changeover tap. I would like a demister mirror, soft/bright general lighting choice, and many people would like several shaver points...

Is this a Smart Meter or not a Smart Meter? Just asking. :D

A bit like those BC lampholder adapters with the little grub screw 'for safety' :)

Isocket will send you text messages :-) https://www.isocketworld.com/en/iSocket-3G-IS3GUK/ I woudln't pay £62 for a power supply, battery, buzzer, and switch, but they're on sale https://www.ultrasecuredirect.com/mains-power-failure-alarms/mains-power-failure-alarm-1-008-1500-p276.html Lucky...

one inch per metre is about right, if you don't mind me mixing measurements. that's 1 in 40 gradient.

It's not going to be run by Deloitte and G4S is it?

Almost certainly an alarm bell box.

It's not the best place for the modem/router either.

That is a fair point, but I don't think it's hard to save £30 a month on gas.