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  1. M

    Camilla

    Camilla is very pleased with the wedding arrangements, but has turned down the Queen's offer of a weekend in Paris with a car and driver. < ba-ba-boom ching! > I thank you very much..
  2. M

    Why do Tony and John Hate The British ?

    Why don't you buy a 'glass' caravan and park it against the side of your house.. ..everyone's a winner! :lol:
  3. M

    Police Producer

    I'm afraid my experience is the same David. My wife had a van drive into her at the roundabout and speed off... She got the plate, and rang the police instantly. Even so she was told to produce her docs before they would even raise a police report. In my opinion a car should have been...
  4. M

    Ha ha ha!

    Try going to www.google.co.uk and typing; french military victories then press "I'm feeling lucky" :lol:
  5. M

    The Sun - Everyone WILL win.

    No I've checked.. Anyone know?
  6. M

    The Sun - Everyone WILL win.

    Hello... erm.. Don't suppose anyone got the Sun newspaper yesterday and knows what the two gamecard numbers were....?? :?
  7. M

    Plain-talking wagon driver

    On the back of a lorry (artic) cab in Maidenhead "Honk if you like, but it could be your daughter in here" :shock:
  8. M

    Definition of a pillock

    A quick squirt of expanding foam up the exhaust will provide the "DIY solution" :wink: He'll get 100 meters down the road before dug-dug-dug-ker-pumpf! Obviously you mustn't actually do this... .. but once he's learnt his lesson he would be able to remove the foam with a knife for...
  9. M

    fitting external UPVC doors

    Are you willing to replace the door and the frame? If so, about 300 notes will get you a uPVC door from www.doorexpress.com (I've used them), and you can specify exact measurements, hinge-side, and open in/out. Pretyy much tailor-made. Opening outwards is no problem, its just not common as...
  10. M

    new front door

    Commonly referred to as the cill these days. If you are changing type (i.e. uPVC->wood, or wood->upvc) then, yes, change the cill too. Its an okay job for a half-competant DIY-er. But you need to start early, as if you don't finish.., they'll be a draft :wink: What type are you...
  11. M

    Changing Aluminium Window Handles

    Lak, The windows are self sealed units. Is the condensation in between the two pains? - in which case you need new units (not windows, just the units). If the condensation is on the outside. i.e. in the room itself, then you just have a ventilation problem. The cheapest route is a...
  12. M

    Lever Pad Handle, but no entry from outside!

    Yeah. Dab hand at locks. Tried all above.. I have ordered a new complete mech. Hopefully that'll hold some clues.
  13. M

    French

    Yes, it is that company.., but you order it from www.doorexpress.com (but they're one in the same)
  14. M

    Lever Pad Handle, but no entry from outside!

    I've got it now ! The barrel bolt which have a small centre latch need resetting or might be a bit loose, another possibility it's could be worn out. You may need a new barrel bolt which comes with 3 set of keys. A bit difficult without seeing it, have a look for model number for new parts...
  15. M

    French

    You could try a company called u-fit at doorexpress.com if you're happy to install it yourself? Not a hard job if you're a moderate-to-good DIY-er? They'll do you some made-to-measure doors for about £500. The doors seem to be good quality and seem to have all the necessary safety...
  16. M

    Lever Pad Handle, but no entry from outside!

    There's nothing stiff or stuck in it. Its simply that when you turn the key that final turn, it doesn't pick up the latch and open it.., the key just turns.
  17. M

    Lever Pad Handle, but no entry from outside!

    No, its nothing to do with the frame because trying this with the door open, it still has this problem. Pushing the latch in and out shows that the latch itself isn't stiff or rubbing - its just not being pulled inwards by the key from the outside. The handle from the inside opens the...
  18. M

    Lever Pad Handle, but no entry from outside!

    Hi, this isn't quite the normal 'wrongness' in this forum;- I have a uPVC door with a lever pad handle on the outside (so when you close it you need a key to re-enter). The lock (and barrel) is fine. You can latch and lock the door from the inside and outside. What I can't do is...
  19. M

    Who can work this circuit out?

    :shock: Okay.., Sounds nasty! I'll get the plates off, have a look and get back to you. Worried that it'll just be a load of wires to me..!? Thanks :D
  20. M

    Who can work this circuit out?

    Hi, I am a very confused individual. Can anyone work out how this has been wired. In my house I have five different light switches. Two double and a single;- --------- --------- ------ | A B | | C D | | E |...
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