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    I am an idiot

    A few decades ago when I was in the ATC a friend of mine was told the best way to get a really good shine on his boots was to use a wire brush. He believed them too :roll:
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    Car tax

    Can't you just inform DVLA that it is scrapped? I'm sure there's a bit on the V5 for that. Although having just said that, perhaps it does ask you for the name of the scrappy you have sold it to?
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    Advice about garage invoice please

    I don't see why not. Ok the initial cost will be his but he will be able to get the cost of the boiler back from the manufacturer. At least that's what used to happen when I worked for Potterton back in the 80s I used to have to test all the thermostats and valves that were returned by the...
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    Advice about garage invoice please

    Surely the garage that fitted the alternator effectively sold it to the OP so they are responsible for its replacement? It's like if you buy something from say Currys and it goes wrong. Your contract is with Currys not the manufacturer of the goods.
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    jeremy clarkson

    Yup that's about it. Is there anyone he hasn't tried to offend yet?
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    Our future in their hands

    Are you saying you've never done anything similar especially when under the influence? Ok if it had been a friend of mine I'm sure I'd have the tools or the strength to get them out rather than call the fire brigade but not everyone does.
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    Dwarf Joke

    Billy Connolly joke about a dwarf. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVR3xF8h1Ao
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    Nissan Micra Handbrake adjustment

    Piece of cake. Took the drums off, couldn't see any adjusters accessible through the back plate though. Clicked the auto adjuster round one click and that was just enough. The handbrake cable can easily be adjusted without removing any covers from the handbrake lever. Thanks
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    Alternative 9/11 view on Directed Energy Weaponry

    Nope, can't believe any of that Now that I can believe
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    Citroen New C5 rear suspension knock

    Other possibilities are antiroll bar bushes and even shock absorbers and their bushes. I had a knock on my Alhambra which turned out to be the bush in the top of the shock absorber working its way out of the loop at the top of the shock.
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    Citroen New C5 rear suspension knock

    Is the suspension the normal Citroen trailing arm? I had a BX, an XM and a Xantia and I think all of them suffered from the bushes/bearings in the trailing arm going at some stage. Usually it's a creaking noise rather than a knock however. With the drop links a mechanic friend of mine gave me...
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    Quick Alhambra Diesel Question

    I've just done the brake pads on my Alhambra (1997 1.9 Tdi) and whilst bedding them in I noticed a quirk. If you apply the brakes (footbrake) whilst you have your foot on the accelerator the engine will drop down to idle. I assume this is normal and done via the ECU or something? It's not...
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    Nissan Micra Handbrake adjustment

    Thanks, A job for the next fine weekend.
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    Nissan Micra Handbrake adjustment

    My wife has a mk2 Micra (the rounded one, 1994 vintage) and the handbrake lever pulls up a bit too far. It's probably perfectly ok, it holds the car on every slope we've used it on but the MOT is due next month so I suppose I ought to have a quick look. How do you adjust it? I had a quick...
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    WOOD BURNING STOVES

    Umm.... yes I think we had figured that one out. :D
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    Nerd car job of the week

    I'm dreading having to change or even top up the brake fluid on my Alhambra. I can't see how the top of the reservoir can even be unscrewed, at least not by anyone with normal hands and once it is off I thing I'm going to have to use a syringe to get the fluid in.
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    standard tyre size for 03 polo 5dr 1.9sdi

    Most major tyre manufacturers will have an online tyre guide as well as people like Kwikfit.
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    Ford Galaxy Loss of power

    Standard reply - get the fault codes read I think.
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    EPC light on = MOT fail?

    Is the switch adjusted properly? I don't know about Polos but on other cars with a VW base eg Seat Alhambra, Skoda Octavia etc there are two switches on the brake pedal and both have to work otherwise you'll get a fault showing.
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    Advice on a table

    I think this is one of those questions to which there are lots of possible solutions. Yes you could stain then varnish. You could get coloured varnish. You could wax it, oil it or french polish it. I'd go to the library and have a look at a woodworking book to see what sort of finishes you could...
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