Boris Johnson visits a school…

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…and the teacher asks him to stay for the English lesson.

“Today”, she says, “we’re looking at what tragedy is.”

Turning to the class, she asks “Can anyone give me an example of a tragedy?”

Wee Suzie puts her hand up. “If my mummy and I were crossing the road and someone knocked us down and killed us, that would be a tragedy.”

Before the teacher can respond, Boris interrupts “No”, he says, “I don’t think so. That would be a terrible accident.”

Wee Suzie is visibly upset at being corrected by the former Prime Minister.

The teacher decides to try again. Turning to the class, she asks “Does anyone else want to give me an example of a tragedy?”

Wee Becky puts her hand up. “If our class were on a bus on the motorway and the bus swerved off the motorway and into a ditch and killed us all, that would be a tragedy.”

Once again, before the teacher can respond, Boris interrupts “No”, he says, “I don’t think so. That would be a great loss.”

Wee Becky looks p155ed off at being corrected by the former Prime Minister.

The teacher decides to try once more, and she asks “Does anyone else want to give me an example of a tragedy?”

Wee Johnny puts his hand up. “If Boris was in a plane at 36,000 feet and the plane blew up and he was blown to bits, that would be a tragedy.

Boris looks intrigued. “Now that’s interesting”, he says, “why do you say it would be a tragedy?”

“Simple” says Wee Johnny”, “It wouldn’t be a great loss, and it sure as fvck wouldn’t be an accident!”
 
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