JokeII?

[PrenticeBoyofDerry]

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eys, and bows down in prayer. His friend says, "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man." The man then replies, "Yeah, well we were married 35 years."

 

[lifesagasman]

I like golf jokes, too, pbody.

 

[Karinska]

 

[Deluks]

That's a golden oldie. I heard the 2 blokes fishing version though. About 20 years ago!

 

[Johnmelad502]

I like golf jokes, too, pbody.

Mothers Day
Bill, Ralph, and Fred gathered for a round of golf on Mother's Day. The men were quite surprised at being "let go" for the day, and each wanted to know how the other got away from their wife.

Fred said, "I purchased a dozen red roses for my wife, and she was so happy that she let me go."

Ralph said, "I purchased a diamond ring for my wife, and she was so thrilled with me that she let me go."

Bill said, "I woke up this morning, rolled over, looked at my wife, and said to her: `Golf course or inter-course,' and she said: 'Make sure to put on a nice warm jumper dear."

 

[Johnmelad502]

And another...

A man was stranded on a desert island for 10 years. One day a beautiful girl swims to shore in a wet suit. Man: "Hi! Am I ever happy to see you."! Girl: "Hi! It seems like you've been here along time.

How long has it been since you've had a cigarette?" Man: "It's been ten years!" With this information the girl unzips a slot on the arm of her wet suit and gives the man a cigarette. Man: "Oh thank you so much!"

Girl: "So tell me how long it’s been since you had a drink?" Man: "It's been ten years" The girl unzips a little longer zipper on her wet suit and comes out with a flask of whiskey and gives the man a drink. Man: "Oh.. thank you so much. You are like a miracle"!

Finally the girl starts to unzip the front of her wet suit and asks the man leadingly, "So tell me then, how long has it been since you played around? " The man looked at her and said excitedly: "Oh, my God, don't tell me you've got a set of golf clubs in there too?"

 

[Space cat]

I like golf jokes, too, pbody.

Try this one then:

A man walked into the nineteenth hole and saw his friend sobbing into his beer so he asked him what was up.

"You see that new guy over there?"

"What, the one who couldn't hit an open manhole?"

"Yeah, that's him. Well he challenged me to a round today, as long as I gave him three strokes head start and two gotchas, whatever they were. So I'm standing there, just about to tee off, when he grabs my balls from behind and shouts GOTCHA! I missed the shot by miles."

"But surely he could only do that twice."

"Have you ever played a round of golf waiting for another gotcha?"

 

[PrenticeBoyofDerry]

That's a golden oldie.

As Wayne Rooney once said "olduns are the best"