Recieved This Email This Morning 
"An earthquake measuring 5.7 on the Richter scale hit Liverpool
last Wednesday morning. The epicentre was Kirkby. Casualties
were seen wandering aimlessly saying, "bang out of order" and
"that did my head in". The earthquake decimated the area causing
in excess of £17.55 worth of damage.
Several priceless collections of mementos from Ibiza and Corfu
were damaged beyond repair. Three preserved areas of historic
burned out cars were destroyed. Many locals were woken before
their Giros arrived.
One resident, Tracy Smith, a 15 year old mother of four said "It
was such a shock, little Chardonnay Leigh came running into my
bedroom crying and my hands were shaking so much I could hardly
skin up whilst I was watching Trisha".
The British Red Cross has so far managed to send 4,000 crates of
Sunny Delight to the area to help with the crisis. Rescue
workers are still searching through the rubble and have found
numerous "Elizabeth Duke" sovereigns, benefit books, bone china
from Poundstretcher, and Argos catalogues. However they have not
managed to save any furniture from Crazy Georges as yet.
HOW CAN YOU HELP?
This appeal hopes to raise money for food and clothing parcels
for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in the disaster.
Clothing is most sought after. Urgently needed are La Coste
tracksuits (his and hers preferably) white socks, Burberry caps,
woolly Benny hats and Reebok trainers. Food parcels are also
needed. They include McCains Micro-Chips, Aldi Baked Beans,
Monster Munch and Iceland Pizzas. Alcohol is also in short
supply, especially White Lightning cider and Carlsberg Special
Brew.
Cash donations are also needed. 22p will buy a Bic Biro for
signing on, £2.50 buys a jumbo sausage dinner, £3.00 buys a blag
CD (not an original copy), £20 buys a fake M.O.T. (or ten
gallons of red diesel to burn the vehicle out) and £26 buys 200
Regal King Size from Tommo who has just got back from Kavos."
"An earthquake measuring 5.7 on the Richter scale hit Liverpool
last Wednesday morning. The epicentre was Kirkby. Casualties
were seen wandering aimlessly saying, "bang out of order" and
"that did my head in". The earthquake decimated the area causing
in excess of £17.55 worth of damage.
Several priceless collections of mementos from Ibiza and Corfu
were damaged beyond repair. Three preserved areas of historic
burned out cars were destroyed. Many locals were woken before
their Giros arrived.
One resident, Tracy Smith, a 15 year old mother of four said "It
was such a shock, little Chardonnay Leigh came running into my
bedroom crying and my hands were shaking so much I could hardly
skin up whilst I was watching Trisha".
The British Red Cross has so far managed to send 4,000 crates of
Sunny Delight to the area to help with the crisis. Rescue
workers are still searching through the rubble and have found
numerous "Elizabeth Duke" sovereigns, benefit books, bone china
from Poundstretcher, and Argos catalogues. However they have not
managed to save any furniture from Crazy Georges as yet.
HOW CAN YOU HELP?
This appeal hopes to raise money for food and clothing parcels
for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in the disaster.
Clothing is most sought after. Urgently needed are La Coste
tracksuits (his and hers preferably) white socks, Burberry caps,
woolly Benny hats and Reebok trainers. Food parcels are also
needed. They include McCains Micro-Chips, Aldi Baked Beans,
Monster Munch and Iceland Pizzas. Alcohol is also in short
supply, especially White Lightning cider and Carlsberg Special
Brew.
Cash donations are also needed. 22p will buy a Bic Biro for
signing on, £2.50 buys a jumbo sausage dinner, £3.00 buys a blag
CD (not an original copy), £20 buys a fake M.O.T. (or ten
gallons of red diesel to burn the vehicle out) and £26 buys 200
Regal King Size from Tommo who has just got back from Kavos."
