Be very careful.

2 Aug 2007
Reaction score
United Kingdom
If this story doesn't make you cry with laughter, then let me know and i'll pray for you.
This is a story about a couple who have been married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife up, and the smell would make her eyes water, and leave her gasping for air.
Every morning she would plead with him to stop farting, because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop, and anyway, it was perfectly natural.
She told him to see a doctor, because she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.
Anyway, the years went by and he continued to rip them out.
Then one Christmas Eve, as she was preparing the turkey for the Christmas dinner, and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the turkey's innards,, the neck, gizzard, liver, kidneys, and all the other spare parts, and a malicious thought came to her.
She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was still sound asleep, and after gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic wasteband of his underpants, and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Sometime later, she heard her husband waken with his usual loud farting, which was followed by a blood curdling scream, followed by the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran to the bathroom.
Down in the kitchen, his wife could hardly control herself, as she rolled on the floor laughing, with tears streaming down her face. After years of torture, she reckoned she'd finally got her own back.
Anyway, about twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants, with a look of shock and horror on his face.
She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, "Honey, you were right,, after all these years you've warned me of the consequences, and i didn't listen to you. You always warned me that one day i would end up farting my guts out, and today, it finally happened,, but by the grace of God with some Vaseline and two fingers, i managed to most of them back in. :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:
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Nope found it totally unfunny, and crude, are you with the Church of 'The End Of the World is NOW', but didn't happen?
Not so much as a smile and the punch line was obvious.
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Bunch of liars!

It took Micky 2 hours to stop laughing before he could post a reply! :LOL: :LOL:

Nice one RC! ;)
RC,made me smile a bit,buy when i 1st heard it about 3 years back it made me lol.

i agree you knew the punchline before getting to the end,i had this told to me and it was very funny.
My current fave is a very innocent joke my kids brought home from school.

Two cats decide to have a race across the channel.

The English cat is called One Two Three.
The French cat is called Un Deux Trois.

Which animal won the race?

One Two Three, of course.


Because the Un Deux Trois Cat Sank.
Bunch of liars!

It took Micky 2 hours to stop laughing before he could post a reply! :LOL: :LOL:

Nice one RC! ;)

Cheers for that Conny,,,,, 1 out of 9 ain't bad i suppose, plus the bonus of a wee smile it gave Gregers. :LOL:
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