flying ladders

[pitbull]

I got myself a free pair of aluminium extension ladders about 18 years ago while i was driving up the A19. Wonder who lost them?

 

[Steve]

I got myself a free pair of aluminium extension ladders about 18 years ago while i was driving up the A19. Wonder who lost them?

I see you're at the northern end of the A19 - did you know it ends in Doncaster town centre at St Georges R'bout? fact of the day

 

[johnodiy]

My wife once volunteered to take an old double mattress to the dump. My mate and I put it on top of a landrover roof rack, the ones with about an 8 inch frame sticking up all around. As the dump was just down the road, I said "take it steady, as we haven't tied it down as its held in by the roof rack frame". Anyway, she got to the dump, lent out of the window, and asked a dump technician, "where do I dump the mattress", pointing up to the roof rack. " what mattress" he said. Yes, she had lost it enroute, none the wiser and couldn't find it on the way home either! Often wonder if an innocent pedestrian got flattened by a very heavy flying double mattress!

 

[flyingsparks]

Theres an old chap at work who is renouned for driving slowly. One day he got back to our workshop from a 10 mile drive down a twisty A-road, only to find he had forgot to tie the double ladder onto the roof, and it was still there!! magic!

 

[reggie perrin]

Me and my mate drove 8 miles down the motorway and a further 4 miles or so only to find the lid to our torpedo wedged on the roof...with all the capping etc still intact.

 

[croydoncorgi]

Many moons ago I wasdriving along a German Autobahn behind a US military convoy - jeep at the front, 7 or 8 large trucks, then a pickup bringing up the rear. All trundling along at 40mph in the righthand lane.

As I came up nearly level with the pickup in the left lane, it went over a bump in the road and a WHOLE (LARGE) TRUCK WHEEL, including tyre, bounced out of the back. It hit the road tyre-down, bounced about 6 feet in the air, just missed the front of the car before mine, hit the central crash barrier, bounced again across the road between the back of the same car and mine, and ended up in the trees on the side of the road. No time to even think about braking! By the time calm had been restored inside the car(!!) we were alongside the lead Jeep, so I wound down my window (right-hand drive car), pulled up very close alongside the Jeep and said (loudly) to the driver 'I think you just lost a truck wheel out of the back of the tailgunner'. He nearly jumped out of his seat (not expecting anyone to speak to him), went very pale, turned on his red flashing light and the whole convoy pulled onto the shoulder, and I carried on, leaving them to get on with it! :=) No idea what they did next!

 

[namsag]

When i worked for the gas board,mate puts top of the range cooker into back of van and heads off to fit it, gets to the job and opens the doors back of van is empty.
What the f he thinks retraces his journey and there it is smashed at side of the road as he had took a sharp bend the side door had opened and the cooker had shot out and door closed behind it.

 

[sliderman]

tut tut just goes to show that we are all human (or is that cowboys at least once in our lives..)

me?

left a very posh private close having just told the customer all about our professionalism, never used our public liability blah blah blah.. stopped at end to let customer cross road with her pushchair (she was going to the post office around the corner).. the ladders slid off the roof and nearly crowned her and her baby...

she was remarkably nice about it even though she herself was just four days prior to giving berth to her next xhild. shock i think..



better still and this is a true story.. please bear with me its worth the wait..

when I was a young lad I worked in an insurance office when I first left school.. one day this fella comes in (about 19) with his ma - can she put him on her porsche... existing insurer NO WAY HOSE.. found another company who would do it.. would cost over two grand. now this was over twenty years ago.. lot of dosh then... could we start it from straight away.. yes.. ok take the policy... forms completed.. cheque paid.. commision in my pocket.. yeh hey...

When she got her cover note she noticed the start time of lets say 11.40am ... shouldn't it have started at midnight??? no.. from now... oh! I don't want the policy then .. no good to me... she says. strange I thought now why would you not want it now..

Turns out...She'd let him drive her porsche that morning and it had been written off after vehicle coming the other way lost a wheel which crossed the central reservation and hit them head on. I dealt with her apologetically and properly although inwardly i was gloating... she was loud and vocal wanting us to bend rules,, start it earlier etc etc. even offered us cash... No can do.. she left it as it was..

just as she was leaving in came another one of our customers ..' you'll never believe this' he began.. ' I was going up the M1 when I was hit from behind by a flying wheel.. it made me jump and then flew over the road into a bloody porsche.. you should have seen the mess'...

Ah I thought.. let me introduce you to....

The two customers struck up a conversation.... about their shared experience.. and guess what...

In comes one of our regulars... a bit of a ***** builder.. always on the go.. with a trick up his sleeve.. a good old sort.. do anything for yer guv.. a few drink driving convictions in his past.. a couple of broken marriages.. no job too small.. cash'll be luvley sir..

'Hello' I warmly greeted him..

'Need to renew my insurance on my truck he said... ran out last week... If I renew now it still carries on don't it.. continuous like.. '
(you used to get about ten days grace.. don't know if you still do)

(you know whats coming don't you..)

well we did the paperwork.. he parted with the cash.. about £90 quid.. stuck with his existing insurer even though they were a bit dearer.. loyalty etc ...

Then he asked for a claim form... Had to renew said he.. had a misfortune this morning I did.. bloody wheel came of me truck and went off down the road....

YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THAT WOMAN'S FACE!!!

one of my best mornings ever!!!!!!!!!!

and it's 100% true..

I have paraphrased as I can't remember the exact wording..

 

[ColJack]

driving home from work one evening , I flashed a lorry tring to turn right coming the other way.. he was moving and took the corner at about 15mph..

I had to slam on my breaks as his load of 40 or so 6mm steel sheets came sliding off sideways one by one.. broke a strap or something..

scared the crap out of me and the car that was going past him on the inside, same side as him...

took about 40 mins to clear the road.. the police came and had to go get a fork truck from a nearby factory to help him re-load it all.. poor bloke..

 

[jefoss]

a few years ago i was doing deliveries for a nylon firm, big sheets of nylon, we used to deliver them from firm to firm only about a mile ever, on an open top van, slide on off sides with forklift, this particular week i was being exceptionally hurried by the bosses, no apparant reason, plus outside one of the companys roadworks, so the normally very busy road was manic, anyway to cut a long story short, some effer cut me up on the mini roundabout i slammed the anchors on and lost 10 sheets of nylon and it managed to cover all but one exit, police and ambulances turned up, traffic halted for over an hour as we had to move each one witth 8 guys and slowly as they were very heavy, i even made the local radio, i think the line was local idiot sheds load! needless to say i got moved from local deliveries and the strange thing is that the police didnt ask me to produce or anything they just helped. good on them!

 

[roberta1000]

This afternoon a small van turned out in front of me and I followed it into the next roundabout. Back doors swung open and a small propane cylinder rolled out (one of the little 3.9kg ones not unlike a small cannonball!). However it was attached to a length of high pressure hose and then a burner or something which stuck inside the van somewhere. So along it went (I chose not to follow too closely now) with the cylinder clanging along behind until it vanished over the verge and the hose broke.

 

[apcosantana]

6 a.m. one cold winter Saturday morning I was reversing my milkfloat towards what I thought was a pile of virgin snow in the junction of a T-shaped close. It turned out that the snow had frozen solid and the back wheel lifted up as if going over a ramp. I glanced in the wing mirror to see 700 pints of milk tip off the side, in a brief silence before they hit the ground. The shards from 700 broken glass bottles were then cemented to the road by the freezing milk. It took me about two hours, with others helping, to get the road clear and safe.