Hospital (joke)

[HOGGY952]

A 75 Year Old Lady rings her local NHS hospital and this conversation follows:

'Hello I'd like some information on a patient, Mrs Tiptree. She was admitted last week with chest pains and I just want to know if her condition has deteriorated, stabilised or improved?'

'Do you know which ward she is in?'

'Yes, ward P, room 2B'

'I'll just put you through to the nurse station.'

'Hello, ward P, how can I help?'

'I would just like some information on a patient, Mrs Tiptree, I was wondering if her condition had deteriorated, stabilised or improved?'

'I'll just check her notes. I'm pleased to say that Mrs Tiptree's conditioned has improved. She has regained her appetite, her temperature has steadied and after some routine checks tonight, she should be well enough to go home tomorrow.'

'Oh that's wonderful news, I'm so happy, thank you ever so much!'

'You seem very relieved, are you a close friend or relative?'



'No, I'm Mrs Tiptree in room 2b. Nobody tells you anything in here

 

[Blasphemous]

Did she have a tendency to forget what she was talking about half way through and start again?

 

[joinerjohn]

I reckon Mrs Tiptree was suffering from either Early/ Late onset Dementia or perhaps Alzheimers....
Maybe a qualified doctor could let us all know.

 

[Johnmelad502]

I didn't get the first joke there did not seem to be a punchline.

The second one was funny, but I think I heard it before some time.

The second one was funny, but I did not get the first one...

 

[Blasphemous]

I didn't get the first joke there did not seem to be a punchline.

The second one was funny, but I think I heard it before some time.

The second one was funny, but I did not get the first one...

You've got the same condition that HOGGY's got John!

 

[conny]

You've got the same condition that HOGGY's got John!

Early stages though, he didn't repeat word for word.

 

[Johnmelad502]

Early stages though, he didn't repeat word for word. [/quote]

 

[conny]

The second one was funny, but I think I heard it before some time.

The second one was funny, but I did not get the first one...

 

[HOGGY952]

I have edited my original post,we all make mistakes, in my case it was the missus she would not leave me alone she was feeling a bit fruity so I had to get up and give her some fruit

so thats how the mistake was made. did you expect me not to give her the fruit.

 

[conny]

Currantly I am trying to figure out what was raisin her spirits, or is this just a load of flan nel?
(Yep, its gonna descend into one of those posts. )

 

[Blasphemous]

I'm partial to a banana myself....

 

[HOGGY952]

I am more of a cream person I love lots of cream on my fruit

 

[Blasphemous]

I am more of a cream person I love lots of cream on my fruit

Yep I'd definitely like to squirt my cream on that banana!