just for laughs.....

[vokera80e]

P*nis Requests a Raise
I, the p*nis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

I do physical labour
I work at great depths
I plunge head first into everything I do
I do not get weekends off or public holidays
I work in a damp environment
I don't get paid overtime
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
I work in high temperatures
My work exposes me to contagious diseases

Dear P*nis,

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

You do not work 8 hours straight
You fall asleep on the job after brief work period
You do not always follow the orders of the management team
You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing
You'll retire well before reaching 65
You're unable to work double shifts
You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have completed the day's work. And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.

Sincerely,
The Management

 

[Brightness]

Old but good

 

[Doc Lenny]

Might as well make it a Just for Laughs Post

This is a quick story about the bond formed between a little girl and
a group of building workers. It's allegedly true and makes you want
to believe in the goodness of people and that there is hope for the
human race.

A young family moved into a house next door to a vacant building
plot.

One day a gang of building workers turned up to start building a
house on the empty plot. The young family's 5-year-old daughter
naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and
started talking with the workers. She hung around and eventually the
builders, all with hearts of gold, more or less adopted the little
girl as a sort of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit
with them while they had tea and lunch breaks, and gave her little
jobs to do here and there to make her feel important. They even gave
her very own hard hat and gloves. At the end of the first week they
presented her with a pay envelope containing two pounds in 10p coins.
The little girl took her 'pay' home to her mother who suggested that
they take the money she had received to the bank the next day to
start a savings account.

When they got to the bank the cashier was tickled pink listening to
the little girl telling her about her 'work' on the building site and
the fact she had a 'pay packet'. "You must have worked very hard to
earn all this" said the bank cashier.

The little girl proudly replied, "I worked all last week with the
men building a big house." "My goodness gracious," said the cashier,
"Will you be working on the house again this week, as well?"


The little girl thought for a moment and said................














"I think so. Provided those c**ts at Jewsons deliver the f**king bricks."

 

[superspark]

Brilliant!!