Mum's teaching

[bernardgreen]

 

[Vinty]

Nowadays the above would have the social workers at your mums door.

 

[Ihavenojob]

My neighbour said her mum made her a lesbian. I asked if I gave her the wool, would she make me one.

 

[Bodd]

My young cousin asked his mum for a Jam Sandwich.

We havn't got no Jam she tells him


"I want a jam sandwich he cries."

You can have bread & butter and lump it

She gives him his bread & butter.

He opens it up and cries
"Where's my lumpit"

Sadly both are not with us anymore... xx

 

[EddieM]

If you break your leg don't come running to me.

Me to mum "what will I be when I grow up"

Mum "Don't worry son, you're a bloke, you'll never grow up"

 

[conny]

My little sister once asked for a butty. On being told we had no bread her response was, "Well can I have a piece of toast instead?"

She still got ribbed about it 50 years on.

 

[durhamplumber]

Mum used to say "how am i going to make ends meet" Always thought she said hen's meat..
"Behave or I will take you through hands."".....Always thought she said "take you through Ann's"".....Used to think Ann must be a right nasty bit of work!...
Always threatened with been "sent to bed""...never works as a threat on adults tho!

 

[transam]

Make sure you have clean under ware on before going out on yer motor bike

Just in case you have an accident

Have an accident end up in hospital yer mother Comes to see whats what

Doctor says yer son has a broken leg ruptured spleen ect ect

But that's not the worst of it Mrs Transam
As he lowers his voice

Yer sonS under ware was a kin disgrace