Muslim suicide bombers in Britain

J

Johnmelad502

Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike next Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the after life. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement.

The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death will be cut by 25% this April from 72 to only 60. The rationale for the cut was the increase in recent years of the number of suicide bombings and a subsequent shortage of virgins in the afterlife.

The union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs (or B.O.O.M.) responded with a statement that this was unacceptable to its members and immediately balloted for strike action. General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, "Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don't ask for much in return but to be treated like this is like a kick in the teeth".

Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands in which he currently resides, Al Qaeda chief executive Osama bin Laden explained, "We sympathize with our workers' concerns but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their demands. They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace.

Thanks to Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It's a straight choice between reducing expenditure and laying people off. I don't like cutting wages but I'd hate to have to tell 3,000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow themselves up."

Spokespersons for the unions in New Zealand and Australia & Spain stated that they would be unaffected as there are no virgins in these areas anyway.

Apparently the drop in the number of suicide bombings has been largely put down to the emergence of the Scottish singing star, Susan Boyle. Now that Muslims know what a virgin looks like, they are not so keen on going to paradise.
 
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I'm on this dipsticks ignore list. He hasn't got a clue what a pillock I think he is.
 
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D

daneski88

Not for long snico - he's sniping all of us, one by one. Presumably, unforgivable as it is, we all have it coming to us :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:

The logic is that eventually he would have to ignore himself. But, as Arnie has pointed out, he can't "self terminate" :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:
 
D

daneski88

:rolleyes:
OUt if idle curiousity, if you do bother to get to see this JML, what exactly is your beef with me other than the one disagreement on one post?. There was obviously a flash point.
 
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geraint

me lad sums it up...

just a boy.....
but hey ho.. one day he might grow.....
 
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He's a Council Tenant they are a bit odd. :LOL: :LOL:
 
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neener_neener.gif
 
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I would like to point out to all potential suicide bombers that it doesn't specify what the virgins must be..

they could be 100 year old spinsters who were too ugly to get a man
or just that, men.. .. ;)

for WIW JML, Joe and DM64 are on my ignore list too..
 
D

daneski88

I would like to point out to all potential suicide bombers that it doesn't specify what the virgins must be..

they could be 100 year old spinsters who were too ugly to get a man
or just that, men.. .. ;)
On the other hand, if blowing oneself up is indeed such a worthy thing to do in the name of Allah, how come none of the elders (who persuade the youngsters) do it?

for WIW JML, Joe and DM64 are on my ignore list too..
Is this relevant, or indeed anything to boast about? Are you going to be rewarded in heaven with some virgins for this? :confused:
 
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