Telemarketing....get your own back!

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keyplayer
that Jon Ronson is a very good writer , I like the stuff he does in the big papers at weekend
 
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PMSL you lot. I usually just ask them if they'll hold a minute whilst I turn the TV down. Then I put the phone onto privacy (which plays awful music) and carry on with what I was doing. Runs up their phone bill hahaha.
 
David E said:
4. This works great if you are male. Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with XYZ Company. " You: Wait for a second and with a real husky voice ask, "What are you wearing?"
Done that - or a variation of it - actually went for the full on obscene phone call: "I bet you've got a dripping wet p***y - I'd love to stick my c**k up it" etc. Doesn't have to be gender specific though - I've also asked blokes if they like to suck c**k. I guess the only problem is if a female says to a male cold caller that she'd like to suck his, he might think that was OK - you know what we're like... ;)

keyplayer said:
This article by Jon Ronson may induce a little sympathy.
Yeah - my heart bleeds for them.

I will do anything, say anything - I really couldn't care less - they are calling me, so if they don't like what happens, the simple answer is for them to stop calling. The day that the last cold caller quits because they don't want the abuse any more is the day the world becomes a better place.

I guess I should register with TPS - but I'll bet it doesn't stop companies that you already do business with from calling you to tell you about another of their products/services.

One good tip - never put your phone number on forms, questionnaires, web orders etc unless absolutely necessary (i.e. where you might genuinely need them to call you). Once you become sensitive to that, you'll be amazed how many people ask for your phone number when it is not needed for the purposes of that specific interaction.

Brightness said:
PMSL you lot. I usually just ask them if they'll hold a minute whilst I turn the TV down. Then I put the phone onto privacy (which plays awful music) and carry on with what I was doing. Runs up their phone bill hahaha.
I've thought it would be fun to make a recording to play to them - "Greensleeves" for example, or any common hold music, interrupted every 30s by my voice saying. "Your call is important to me, and I know you are waiting. Please remain on the line and I will answer you as soon as I am available."
 
When you get a telesales call from say double glazing. Sound enthusiastic. Say you were just chatting to you wife/hubby about just that. Ask, do you do conservatories because you want a very big one in addition to having all the windows done?

Then you say, OH, hold on a moment theres some one at the front door. Place the receiver down next to the phone and just sit down and carry on watching t v or reading.

You can use the same idea on any telesales person. There they are waiting for you to come back to talk about this great order you would like to place.

BE HAPPY
 
I hope this works! When Chris Moyles had a holiday from BBC Radio 1's Breakfast Show, Scott Mills (usually on the afternoon programme) took over, as is the way with these things (i.e. It'll be Scott Mills who does the Breakfast Show next I reckon). Anyway, he is hilarious. This isn’t a telesales call but in a similar vein; here is an excerpt I found so funny I "listened again" and recorded it.

It says on the site: "You can download your file here". You can right click on the 'here' and save it. I hope it doesn’t take too long – it is funny!

http://www.fileul.com/view.php?file=sNsqR6y
 
Well, there are some interesting approaches outlined here to try to exact a little revenge on the telemarketers but the phrase about shooting oneself in the foot springs to mind. I find something like " I'm sorry but I'm not interested. Goodbye." delivered in as polite a manner as I can manage gets me off the phone far quicker than some of the schemes in this thread.
 
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