The Brexit Tackle

[Odds]

For the umpteenth time, my son, with an Ikea stuffed ball he has had since infancy, is playing football in the living room. He is joined by one of his best friends, an equally football-obsessed 10-year-old who, before slide-tackling in what can only be described as a deliberate attempt to knock my son’s legs off, shouts: “Brexit means Brexit!” Confused, I pass it off as an example of tweenage precocity: which 10-year-old is happy to quote Theresa May while playing football?

Over the next year, however, I will hear the term used again and again when my son plays football at the local park. He turns 11 and is off to secondary school. There, too, the phrase seems to have become a “thing”. One evening, as he recounts the details of how he got a painful-looking graze on his shin, he quotes the attacking player’s prelude to clattering into him: “Brexit means Brexit!” I ask, finally, why people are saying this. Nonchalantly, as he practises “skills” with the same softball, he explains that the Brexit tackle “is a tackle that doesn’t get the ball, only takes out the player”. Urban Dictionary concurs, stating it is, among other things, “when somebody hits a massive slide tackle and usually sends them flying and it hurts them servely [sic]”.

Lola Okolosie@the Graudiana

Now you know what to call it when mot and the mob get going again.

 

[JohnD]

Brexit, however, injures both the target and the attacking player.

Mostly the attacker.

 

[Brigadier]

the B word is a commonly-used term with the yoof and the younger generation nowadays: "You're dad's so Brexit" being an example.

(Meaning a range of things, from dry and tactiturn, to 'ard-looking).

 

[nwgs]

@Odds I imagined you having grandkids.

 

[Mottie]

@Odds I imagined you having grandkids.

Same here.

 

[fillyboy]

I was thinking great grand kids.

 

[Mottie]

Now you know what to call it when mot and the mob get going again.

Funny, I’ve always thought of a 'Brexit' as being a win against all odds, predictions and expectations.

"Blimey mate, I can’t believe that 200-1 horse won that race, what a Brexit"

 

[noseall]

I’ve always thought of a 'Brexit' as being a win

For the rest of Europe? Certainly been shít for the UK.

 

[Mottie]

For the rest of Europe? Certainly been shít for the UK.

Now now. What have I told you about your bitterness? It’s not good for you and it’s eating you up. You seem to be suffering from what’s called 'remainitis'. Are in the middle of a flare up?

 

[noseall]

Now now. What have I told you about your bitterness? It’s not good for you and it’s eating you up. You seem to be suffering from what’s called 'remainitis'. Are in the middle of a flare up?

I'll go see the doctor. So far today I've been to the facture clinic and the dentist (filling, groan). Might as well make it a hat trick.

 

[Odds]

I was thinking great grand kids.

They are great. maybe one of those Bre*it bonuses will be along by the time they're old enough to vote?

 

[JonathanM]

@Odds I imagined you having grandkids.

Lola Okolosie@the Graudiana

Author is Guardian writer, not OP.

I know there's a good chance I've missed a joke here (again). But just in case I haven't!

 

[ellal]

For the umpteenth time, my son, with an Ikea stuffed ball he has had since infancy, is playing football in the living room. He is joined by one of his best friends, an equally football-obsessed 10-year-old who, before slide-tackling in what can only be described as a deliberate attempt to knock my son’s legs off, shouts: “Brexit means Brexit!”

Must admit I hadn't heard of that particular put down...

But on googling, "The verb "to brexit" is the annihilation of another player's ankles in the game of football or soccer"

Of course what the tackler often doesn't realise is that he/she has shot themselves in the foot at the same time...

Or maybe they do?

But gradually they'll get used to hearing the word Bregret

 

[Odds]

Must admit I hadn't heard of that particular put down...


But gradually they'll get used to hearing the word Bregret

Bregret:

Seven years after the United Kingdom voted to leave the European Union, by 51.9 percent to 48.1 percent, there is evidence that many have started to regret that decision. A survey which asked people if they thought Brexit was the right or wrong decision has had a consistent majority of people saying it was the wrong decision since July 2022. This is even more pronounced among younger voters, with 61 percent of 18-25 year-olds saying they regret Brexit, compared with 38 percent of people aged 65 and over.

 

[Odds]

or, Bregret: the sensation they get in the pit of their stomach when they see a giant sucker reflected back at them in the bathroom mirror every morning.