(With apologies)
The Economics of Cows
SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows and give one to your neighbour
COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows: The Government takes both and gives you some milk
FASCISM
You have 2 cows: The Government takes both and sells you some milk
NAZISM
You have 2 cows: The Government takes both and shoots you
BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows: The Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other then throws the milk away
CAPITALISM
You have 2 cows: You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell the herd and retire.
GOVERNMENT
You have 2 cows: You retire one and force the other to produce the milk of 4 cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow dropped dead.
A FRENCH COMPANY
You have 2 cows: You go on strike because you want 3 cows
A JAPANESE COMPANY
You have 2 cows: You redesign them so that they are one tenth of the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a cow cartoon image called cowkimon and market it worldwide
A GERMAN COMPANY
You have 2 cows: You re-engineer them so that they live for 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves
AN ITALIAN COMPANY
You have 2 cows, but you don’t know where they are. You break for lunch
A RUSSIAN COMPANY
You have 2 cows: You count them and learn you have 5 cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You stop counting and open another bottle of Vodka
A SWISS COMPANY
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them
A CHINESE COMPANY
You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers
AN INDIAN COMPANY
You have 2 cows. You worship them
A BRITISH COMPANY
You have two cows. Both are mad
The Economics of Cows
SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows and give one to your neighbour
COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows: The Government takes both and gives you some milk
FASCISM
You have 2 cows: The Government takes both and sells you some milk
NAZISM
You have 2 cows: The Government takes both and shoots you
BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows: The Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other then throws the milk away
CAPITALISM
You have 2 cows: You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell the herd and retire.
GOVERNMENT
You have 2 cows: You retire one and force the other to produce the milk of 4 cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow dropped dead.
A FRENCH COMPANY
You have 2 cows: You go on strike because you want 3 cows
A JAPANESE COMPANY
You have 2 cows: You redesign them so that they are one tenth of the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a cow cartoon image called cowkimon and market it worldwide
A GERMAN COMPANY
You have 2 cows: You re-engineer them so that they live for 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves
AN ITALIAN COMPANY
You have 2 cows, but you don’t know where they are. You break for lunch
A RUSSIAN COMPANY
You have 2 cows: You count them and learn you have 5 cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You stop counting and open another bottle of Vodka
A SWISS COMPANY
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them
A CHINESE COMPANY
You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers
AN INDIAN COMPANY
You have 2 cows. You worship them
A BRITISH COMPANY
You have two cows. Both are mad
