I do hope they get the Olympic opening ceremony just right. Reflecting this great nation....
Just imagine,, A horde of women in full burkha, dance, to a bhangra band. Leading a march past of a thousand unemployed youths, dressed in hoodie attire, petrol bombs in one hand and a knife/gun in the other. Quickly followed by a gropu of Emo's self harming themselves. Another group of heroin addicts appear out of the shadows, mugging the group of OAP's. A police helicopter hovers noisily overhead, lit up by laser pens , shone from the laser pointers of a hundred teenage schoolkids. Next a float depicting the humble English pub rolls into view. As the Red Lion/White Horse/ Queen Victoria, replica trundles past, the spectators suddenly realise, it's chucking out time as a horde of drunken hoodlums spill out of the front doors, fighting , falling all over the place. The artistic director even included real vomit and didn't forget the drunken lout urinating in the doorway. A real treat for the crowd.
The scene changes to a tranquil village green, somewhere in middle England, complete with a duck pond. Here we see the typical everyday sights of such a view. plastic shopping bags abound. There's a swan with the plastic off a four pack of Carling stuck round it's neck, slowly choking on the pond. Sat round the pond are 50 of Eastern Europe's finest fishermen, casting their nets to take home the carp, tench and bream for their supper. Suddenly a horn sounds out, followed quickly by that ever present cry, so familiar to all of us,, "Ennnnnnny Scrap Ayorn,,,, Ennnnnnny scrap ayorn..
Did I leave anything out?
(almost forgot, when the pub had emptied, we see a small 8 yr old girl left inside on her own,,,, but don't worry, ten minutes later the prime minister arrives to pick up the forgotten one and all is well.)
