It's Teletubbie land for 2012...

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Oh dear!

The show would create "a picture of ourselves as a nation".....

The set will feature meadows, fields and rivers, with families taking picnics, people playing sports on the village green and farmers tilling the soil.

Because of course we all live in Utopia don't we... :roll:
 
I've seen it and it looks good.

In the south stand, assorted youths will be robbing flat screen tvs and setting fire to the podium.
 
The set will feature meadows, fields and rivers, with families taking picnics, people playing sports on the village green and farmers tilling the soil.

I can think of two places that fit the description. One is St Mary Mead and the other is the assortment of villages collectively known as Midsomer. Very nice they are too but your chances of getting out alive aren't particularly good. :lol: :lol: :lol:
 
I know someone who is 'performing' at the opening ceremony as a 'suffragette'...

Quite ironic really that the Corpolympics decide to celebrate a direct action group who targetted sporting events!

Mind you, maybe she'll get trampled by a rampaging Tinky Winky...
 
I do hope they get the Olympic opening ceremony just right. Reflecting this great nation....
Just imagine,, A horde of women in full burkha, dance, to a bhangra band. Leading a march past of a thousand unemployed youths, dressed in hoodie attire, petrol bombs in one hand and a knife/gun in the other. Quickly followed by a gropu of Emo's self harming themselves. Another group of heroin addicts appear out of the shadows, mugging the group of OAP's. A police helicopter hovers noisily overhead, lit up by laser pens , shone from the laser pointers of a hundred teenage schoolkids. Next a float depicting the humble English pub rolls into view. As the Red Lion/White Horse/ Queen Victoria, replica trundles past, the spectators suddenly realise, it's chucking out time as a horde of drunken hoodlums spill out of the front doors, fighting , falling all over the place. The artistic director even included real vomit and didn't forget the drunken lout urinating in the doorway. A real treat for the crowd.
The scene changes to a tranquil village green, somewhere in middle England, complete with a duck pond. Here we see the typical everyday sights of such a view. plastic shopping bags abound. There's a swan with the plastic off a four pack of Carling stuck round it's neck, slowly choking on the pond. Sat round the pond are 50 of Eastern Europe's finest fishermen, casting their nets to take home the carp, tench and bream for their supper. Suddenly a horn sounds out, followed quickly by that ever present cry, so familiar to all of us,, "Ennnnnnny Scrap Ayorn,,,, Ennnnnnny scrap ayorn..

Did I leave anything out?
(almost forgot, when the pub had emptied, we see a small 8 yr old girl left inside on her own,,,, but don't worry, ten minutes later the prime minister arrives to pick up the forgotten one and all is well.)
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
 
Did I leave anything out?

Yes, you forgot the Paralympics afterwards. These have to be cancelled because of a raid by the Benefits Agency, due to the fact that 80% of the UK competitors are actually able-bodied Incapacity Benefit fraudsters, many of whom also work on the side.

:lol: :lol:
 
So for £27,000,000 :shock: we get a couple of acres of turf with a few trees , a couple of dozen animals , a few old telegraph poles dressed up as may poles ,and a bell which looks like the only thing that should cost anything, and all of this lasts three hours.
Just to make it worse the thing is peopled by volunteers and members of the public , they're not even being paid ffs (I wonder if all the management and consultants are unpaid volunteers? :roll: )
Yes this depicts this country good and proper, fat cats at the top and the masses working or slaving for nothing.
 
It's 9 billion. The same amount we borrow (and will never repay) every month of the year.
 
Did I leave anything out?

Yes, you forgot the Paralympics afterwards. These have to be cancelled because of a raid by the Benefits Agency, due to the fact that 80% of the UK competitors are actually able-bodied Incapacity Benefit fraudsters, many of whom also work on the side.

:lol: :lol:

Ahh, never thought of the Paralympics. Are you sure it's only 80% that have been deemed able bodied by ATOS though? I thought it was about 99% :wink: :wink: :wink:
 
Oh right. Well we borrow £9,000,000,000 every month to pay benefits so it's really here nor there is it?
 
Did I leave anything out?

Yes, you forgot the Paralympics afterwards. These have to be cancelled because of a raid by the Benefits Agency, due to the fact that 80% of the UK competitors are actually able-bodied Incapacity Benefit fraudsters, many of whom also work on the side.

:lol: :lol:

Ahh, never thought of the Paralympics. Are you sure it's only 80% that have been deemed able bodied by ATOS though? I thought it was about 99% :wink: :wink: :wink:

The other 20% were illegals, who escaped before the authorities could catch them. :wink: :wink:

If this all sounds far-fetched, remember this is the UK, 2012. Anything's possible. :roll: :lol:
 
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