If you get turned on by birds of prey

[terrypin]

It could be hawkwood.

If I wrote a song whilst on the loo, I could have a no1 on my hands.

If a park keeper gets overtime to clear leaves, is he raking it in?

Bored, any more one liners most welcome.

 

[longdogs]

A faulty lift is wrong on so many levels.

 

[bernardgreen]

A lady was having hot flushes so she called the plumber.

 

[longdogs]

The invite said +1, so I got there an hour late.

 

[securespark]

A faulty lift is wrong on so many levels.

So is thieving from a multi-storey car park.

 

[misterhelpful]

So, you started a thread about bird jokes...toucan play that game.

If a bird sh1ts on your car, don't take her out again!

One bird can't change a light bulb, but toucan.

 

[terrypin]

So, you started a thread about bird jokes...toucan play that game.

If a bird sh1ts on your car, don't take her out again

Especially if she's had a cockatoo

 

[gregers]

hedgehog why cant they just share.

 

[Nige F]

I stopped for a pelican crossing - the bloody thing flew off and **** on my car.

 

[terrypin]

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Why did the pervert cross the road?
Couldn't get his dick out of the chicken.

 

[longdogs]

Couldn't get his dick out of the chicken.

despite this, he still won the general election.

 

[JBR]

Couldn't get his dick out of the chicken.

despite this, he still one the general election.

I thought that was a pig!

 

[longdogs]

No it was quite easy what with Milliband.

 

[JBR]

No it was quite easy what with Milliband.

The next one might be a bit one-sided too. I hear that the Labour party is about to split into two.