Euphemisms.

[vinty]

Came across a site called 'Euphemism generator'.It has a euphemism for every occassion.
So if you are ever in a locked room and your other half is banging on the door demanding to know what you are up to,you can avoid embarrassment and possible divorce by saying in all honesty that you are 'ignitng the vicar' or 'spraypainting the brass monkey' or.........

 

[Softus]

Isn't a euphemism the thing I used to play in the school orchestra?

 

[Trazor]

Isn't a euphemism the thing I used to play in the school orchestra?

No no, that was the buffoon.