Dumb blonde joke

5 Mar 2006
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United Kingdom
Coudn't think of anything else to post.

A blonde wanting to earn some extra money, decides to hire herself out as a handy-woman, and starts canvassing her neighbourhood.

She arrives at a large house and asks the owner if he has any odd jobs for her to do.

"Well I guess the porch could do with a lick of paint" he says."How much will you charge me"
The blonde quickly responds, " How about £50?"
The man agrees and tells the blonde that the paint and everything she needs is in the garage.

The mans wife, hearing the conversation says to her husband" Does she realise that our porch goes all the way around the house."
The man responds,"Thats a bit cynical,isn't it?"
The wife says,"Your right , its just that I'm starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes that are doing the rounds these days"

A short time later the blonde comes to the door to collect her money.
You finished already,"? the husband asks.Yes, the blonde replies, ".
Impressed the man gets his wallet and hands over the £50

Oh and by the way the " the blonde adds,

its not a Porch its a Lexus ".
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Juan came down to the kitchen as his wife was making breakfast.

She scraped the toast, and put the eggs on.
Suddenly, she grabbed hold of Juan.

"Make love to me now! Take me!" she cried

Surprised and flattered, Juan makes love to her on the kitchen table.

Later, feeling very pleased with himself, he asked his wife why she felt so passionate.

"The egg-timer's broken" she replied.
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Alphonso goes to his doc, and says "When I make love to my wife the first time, afterwards I feel, very hot and sweaty. But when I make love to her the second time, I am very pale and cold."

The doc suspects a heart problem, or possibly diabetes, and runs numerous tests without result. He asks Alphonso's wife, who laughs heartily.

"I know why that is, Doctor," She explains, "The first time he makes love to me is in August, and the second time is in December!"
Old Colonel type gent is disturbed by a knock at the front door, he answers it to find a young chap standing there.

"Sorry to disturb you sir but I'm a student and my subject is 'sex and the older person'. I am trying to get material for my thesis so do you mind if I ask when was the last time you had sex?"

"Not at all, young man. Last time I had sex was 1947."

"My, that was along time ago. Is there a reason for that?"

"Good grief, I am getting on you know and it's only 2000 hours now!"
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