Essex girl jokes

[JBR]

Did you hear about the big power cut at the Bluewater Centre?
Forty Essex girls were stuck on the escalator for three hours.

What's the difference between an Essex girl and an ironing board?
Occasionally, you have trouble getting the legs apart on an ironing board.

What does an Essex girl say after her doctor tells her that she's pregnant?
"Is it mine?"

What's the difference between a supermarket trolley and an Essex girl?
A supermarket trolley has a mind of its own.

What's the difference between the Panama Canal and an Essex girl?
One's a busy ditch...

(I don't hate Essex girls. In fact, I don't even know any.)

 

[EFLImpudence]

I didn't get the last one - the one in brackets.

 

[Whitespirit66]

How do you know when an Essex girl has had an orgasm?
She drops her bag of chips.

How does an Essex girl make love in the dark?
She closes the car door.

 

[JBR]

I didn't get the last one - the one in brackets.

I suppose I should have added: 'perhaps I'm very fortunate'.

 

[mattylad]

I didn't get the last one - the one in brackets.

Swap the first letters around and say it.

 

[longdogs]

Did you hear about the big power cut at the Bluewater Centre?
Forty Essex girls were stuck on the escalator for three hours.

What's the difference between an Essex girl and an ironing board?
Occasionally, you have trouble getting the legs apart on an ironing board.

What does an Essex girl say after her doctor tells her that she's pregnant?
"Is it mine?"

What's the difference between a supermarket trolley and an Essex girl?
A supermarket trolley has a mind of its own.

What's the difference between the Panama Canal and an Essex girl?
One's a busy ditch...

(I don't hate Essex girls. In fact, I don't even know any.)

I have lived in Essex for 25 years and have known many Essex girls in that time but I'm afraid I am going to disagree with you.......



Bluewater is in Kent.

 

[JBR]

Did you hear about the big power cut at the Bluewater Centre?
Forty Essex girls were stuck on the escalator for three hours.

What's the difference between an Essex girl and an ironing board?
Occasionally, you have trouble getting the legs apart on an ironing board.

What does an Essex girl say after her doctor tells her that she's pregnant?
"Is it mine?"

What's the difference between a supermarket trolley and an Essex girl?
A supermarket trolley has a mind of its own.

What's the difference between the Panama Canal and an Essex girl?
One's a busy ditch...

(I don't hate Essex girls. In fact, I don't even know any.)

I have lived in Essex for 25 years and have known many Essex girls in that time but I'm afraid I am going to disagree with you.......



Bluewater is in Kent.

Bluewater? What's Bluewater?

Anyway, perhaps they went on a trip over the border.

Do you think they'll be able to find their way back again?

 

[longdogs]

Probably not. They're all in John Lewis looking for the Canterbury Towels.

Bluewater is a large shopping centre just over the Dartford crossing.

 

[chainsaw_masochist]

What did the Essex girl do with her @rsehole after she had sex?

She took him down the pub and bought him a pint!

 

[JBR]

Why did the Essex girl drown in the pool?
Someone stuck a scratch & sniff sample on the bottom.

 

[JBR]

What does blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette?
An Essex girl doing naked cartwheels.

 

[handyjack]

Q. Why was the Essex girl so pleased to complete a jigsaw puzzle in 18 months?
A. Because the box said "From 2 to 5 years"

Q. Why did the Essex girl stop using the pill?
A. It kept falling out.

 

[LastMagicBean]

Why is reindeer not putting a stop to this. ????

 

[JBR]

I wonder whether his tractor has broken down again.

 

[Ihavenojob]

An Essex girl had a bad crash on the A127.When she came round she was being examined by a Paramedic." Just checking for concussion" he said.
"How many fingers have I got up?"
"OH my god,Im paralized" she said.