Help Desk Conversation

[bernardgreen]

Copied from the forum on ValleyChatter.com in America ||>>>


"There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a
true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a
recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the
Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause"." (This is the way I got it in my e-mail.. true or false, I don't know or care.)

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.
(Now I know why they record these conversations!):

Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden
the words went away."
Operator: "Went away?"
Caller: "They disappeared."
Operator: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
Caller: "Nothing."
Operator: "Nothing??"
Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
Caller: "How do I tell?"
Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"
Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept
anything I type."
Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
Caller: "What's a monitor?"
Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a
TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"
Caller: "I don't know."
Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find
where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
Caller: "Yes, I think so."
Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's
plugged into the wall.
Caller: "Yes, it is."
Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that
there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back the rear again
and find the other cable."
Caller: "Okay, here it is."
Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely
into the back of your computer."
Caller: "I can't reach."
Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean
way over??"
Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle -
it's because it's dark."
Operator: "Dark??"
Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I
have is coming in from the window."
Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
Caller: "I can't."
Operator: "No? Why not??"
Caller: "Because there's a power failure."
Operator: "A power...................................... A power
failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.
Do you still have the boxes and manuals and
packing stuff your computer came in??"
Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it
up just like it was when you got it.
Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"
Operator: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer.

 

[Steve]

Almost as funny as the guy ranting at the customer service fellow, "what the f*** do you want" "dont EVER RING AGAIN!!!" (anyone know where i can find that?)

 

[Softus]

Almost as funny as the guy ranting at the customer service fellow, "what the f*** do you want" "dont EVER RING AGAIN!!!" (anyone know where i can find that?)

I have a copy of it. Email me if you want it.

 

[Steve]

ok i found it on youtube. wont post link. mods will remove. quite offensive lol.

 

[Stulz]

Well there is this one...


Phone rings in this Guys House..

"Hello"

"Hello Sir, is that Mr George ********?"

"Yes it is, who is speaking please?"

"My name is Paul, I am calling your from ****** Financial Recovery Services and it is regarding your outstanding ********** Credit Card balance, it is sometime since you made a payment Sir and I am hoping we can create a payment plan to clear this debt"

"I don't have a credit card and do not owe you anymoney as I have never heard of you"

" Sir, there is no point denying it, we have computer records which show your debt and that you had this credit card from May of 2000 to August of 2005, and since then no payments have been recieved, how do you propose to clear the debt Sir?"

"I just told you, I don't have a credit card and certainly did not have one between the dates you just said"

"Sir, this is getting us nowhere, simply admit your liability and legal action can be avoided for the recovery of the debt"

"Man your making me angry, are you F****g deaf, I don't have a credit card and did not have one from 2000 to 2005, and I can prove it fool"

"Sir, if you get angry I will terminate the call and forward this to our legal department"

"Good, you do that, perhaps they can look up my address for the time you say i had a card, I was in Prison then"

"Oh, for how long Sir, perhaps someone used your card without your permission?"

"Man I was in Prison from 1983 to two weeks ago, that is 23 years if you cannot count, I was in Falsom for robbery of a bank you moron now F**k off and don't bother me again or next time it'll be for murder"

The phone goes dead!!

Now that's what i call getting your facts wrong...